Dove’s campaign for real beauty

Many young women develop low self-esteem from hang ups about looks and, consequently, fail to reach their full potential in later life. Thus, Dove created ‘Campaign for Real Beauty’ to make young girls feel more beautiful everyday by widening today’s stereotypical view of beauty and inspiring them to take great care of themselves. With the Self-Esteem Fund, Dove reaffirms its commitment by initiating and supporting programs that aim to help young girls develop positive self-image.

Low self-esteem causing girls to withdraw from society

"Beauty, Self-Esteem, and the Asian Teenager" study was conducted by global research company Milward Brown. This was carried out across Asia, with girls and women participating from Korea, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, Indonesia, Thailand, Vietnam, Malaysia and the Philippines. The subjects were approximately 1,000 girls between 15 and 17, including 1,800 adult women. The results bring to light the alarming situation of young girls in Asia today. Teenage girls feel a severe lack of confidence, believing that they are not beautiful, and want to take action to change their physical appearance.

The research highlights the impact these feelings have on the daily life and behavior of teenage girls. Girls are avoiding both social and academic activity, including missing school, social occasions, and retreating into their bedrooms because of low self-esteem.

Eighty-eight percent admit to avoiding various activities due to feeling badly about their physical appearance, which effectively disenables them from interacting with their peers. Based on a similar global study previously commissioned by Dove, this is notably higher than the 72% of girls in other parts of the world. In Italy, for example, only 12% report avoidance of social events, less than half the rate reported in Asia. Meantime, the number of Asian girls skipping school is more than twice the rate in countries such as Canada, Mexico, Brazil and Italy.

The agony of inferiority

What is it that causes so much hurt and pain to teenagers today? It is a feeling of hopelessness that we call ‘inferiority’ — that nobody likes you; that you are not as good as other people; that you are a failure, a loser, a personal disaster; that you are ugly or unintelligent. It is that depressing feeling of worthlessness.

This concern was expressed in the popular song written by Janis Ian, who won a Grammy Award in 1976 for this song entitled, At Seventeen:

I learned the truth at 17

That love was meant for beauty queens

And high school girls with clear-skinned smiles

Who married young and then retired…

And those of us with ravaged faces

Lacking in the social graces

Desperately remained at home,

Inventing lovers on the phone

Who called to say, "Come dance with me"…

It isn’t all it seems at 17…

Building self-esteem

Here are several suggestions that will help you acquire self-esteem and become a more confident you:

RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE NOT ALONE. First, begin observing the people around you and see if you detect hidden feelings of inferiority. I assure you, many of them have the same concerns that trouble you. They reveal these doubts by being very shy and quiet, or by being extremely angry and mean, or by being silly, or by being afraid to participate in a game or contest, or by blushing frequently, or by acting proud and ‘stuck-up’. It will give you more confidence to know that everyone is afraid of embarrassment and ridicule.

FACE YOUR PROBLEM. In an isolated place, list all the things which you most dislike about yourself. Nobody is going to see this paper except the people to whom you choose to show it, so you can be completely honest. When you are finished, go through the list and put a checkmark beside the items that worry you the most.

Now you are ready to take some action to improve your circumstances. It would be a good idea to select someone you trust, a person in whom you have confidence. Choose one who understands the problems of young people, like your parent, your teacher, a counselor or priest. Go over each item on your list and listen to suggestions about changing the things that trouble you. You will feel much better for having discussed your worries openly and you just might discover some successful solutions.

Learn to accept the things you cannot change

How will you handle the remaining items on your list that cannot be changed? It would be wise to remember that the best way to have a healthy mind is to learn to accept those things, which you cannot change. The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who have learned to live with those things that are less perfect.

Let me suggest, that you take your remaining list of ‘unsolvable problems’ to a private place where a small fire will not be dangerous. In the presence of your counselor-friend, burn the paper as a symbol that the problems are now in God’s hands. Your prayer should contain this message to Him:

Dear Jesus, I’m bringing all my problems and worries to You because You’re my best friend. You already know my strengths and weaknesses since You made me. That’s why I’m burning this paper now. It’s my way of saying that I’m giving my life to you… with my good qualities along with my shortcomings and failures. I’m asking you to use me in whatever way You wish. Make me the kind of person You want me to be. And from this moment forward, I’m not going to worry about my imperfections.

Compensate for your weaknesses

Make up for your weaknesses by concentrating on your strengths. Challenge yourself to try new things. It won’t hurt nearly as much to be rejected by others when you know that you’re successful at doing something like playing a musical instrument, excelling in sports, or baking cookies and selling these in school. You will begin to like yourself a bit more, and when you like yourself better, so will other people.

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GENUINE FRIENDS. Spend time with people who feel good about themselves. They can put a smile on your face and help you feel good about yourself. Nothing helps your self-confidence more than genuine friends. You don’t have to be beautiful or highly intelligent or wealthy in order to be liked by other people. The best way to have a friend is to be a good friend to others. How can you make new friends quickly and easily?

HAVE A POSITIVE MENTAL ATTITUDE. A positive attitude is contagious. You will feel good and people will want to be near you. No other person has your unique combination of qualities so be proud of yourself and be courageous enough to express your true feelings.

FIND HUMOR. When you can see the humorous side of a situation, you will be less stressed and better equipped to handle tough situations.

God’s values

The attributes, which our society values most highly – beauty, intelligence and money – are man’s values not the Lord’s. He emphasizes that each of us is worth more than the possessions of the entire world. This is true just because we are human beings – not because of the way we look, or to whom we are married, or what our parents do, or how much money we have, or how much we have accomplished in life. Those earthly factors don’t make a difference at all.

Luke 16:15 states, "For that which is highly esteemed among men is abomination in the sight of God." The Lord despises those things, which we treasure since they get in the way of our self-confidence and they interfere with the work we ought to be doing for Him. Those phony values could keep you from being a good parent or employee or business person. They can make you feel that even God doesn’t accept you as a person. Don’t listen to the little voice inside you which says, "You’re a failure or going to be one. There’s something wrong with you or your mind. You’re ugly. You’re different. Everyone is laughing at you."

Don’t believe it! God will help you do it!

Kudos to the Dove

Self-Esteem Campaign!

Today’s generation is full of psychological pit holes. Teenagers are what the Germans call "havstrak" or "half-strong".

Girls express that it is the other women in their lives, who play the most influential role in building self-esteem, 42% of girls identify their female friends as the most powerful influence on their feelings about beauty and body image, followed by mothers, 36%. In the Philippines, the mother’s influence is much higher at 65% while female friends are at 61%. Adult women also reinforce this assertion with three quarters of women agreeing that they wish their mothers had talked with them more about beauty and beauty ideals at an early age so as to give them more positive feelings about themselves and their own beauty.

Each of us has the ability to foster positive self-esteem … both in others and ourselves. We should join the Dove Campaign for our children. Let this be our pledge to the future.

(Reference: Preparing for Adolescence by Dr. James Dobson. Vision House Publishers. Santa Ana, California. 1978)

(Next Week: When my Daughter becomes a Woman, Part 2)

(For more information or reaction, please e-mail at exec@obmontessori.edu.ph or pssoliven@yahoo.com)