Uninvited

Sitting in a café one lazy morning, I found myself drifting off to sleep when a familiar face walked in - uninvited. I laughed out loud. Not again!

I met this man from a wedding reception I recently attended. He came in through the side entrance, searching for a familiar face. I don't even know him personally but I guess he spotted me and decided that we were best friends for that night. He knew my dad and decided to use it as an intro line. I was getting uncomfortable sitting beside him, not because of the small talk but he just reeked of liniment oil. Pretty soon, he liberally ordered drinks as we were still waiting for the newlyweds to arrive.

You see, this man is a professional crasher. He shows up in weddings, birthdays or funerals, sometimes with his brother as an accomplice. I excused myself and deliberately stepped outside just to see what happens. Pretty soon, he stepped outside and pretended to call someone on the phone. Who knows, maybe he called his brother for reinforcement? The father of the bride also noticed him and was shaking his head in disbelief.

It seemed like he was waiting for me to go back to where we were seated so he can get on with his meal but I waited until the newlyweds marched in and found myself a spot in another table. I never looked back if he ate happily ever after. With a plastic bag in hand, he might have stuffed some food for take-out.

Most of the invitation cards in my dad's community include the phrase "and Family" as if the invited are done in wholesale. My dad doesn't care if his friends show up with unfamiliar guests who tag along. He used to say, "Who cares if we don't know them? We are lucky they come to celebrate with us. The more, the merrier!" I figured that the father of the bride should be thankful for the crasher to show up. He helped fill up the empty seat so the party looked packed. The guy could have at least congratulated the father of the bride instead of pretending not to see him and chomp off his free meal.

Recently, it was my turn to crash an outreach program as I tagged along in a dental mission in Talisay. This was partly sponsored by a local chapter of a worldwide federation of young leaders and entrepreneurs. The club president arrived more than an hour late with the other members in their classy SUVs. Hey, I was told not to wear anything that might attract snatchers but these guys had their bling on together with spiffy apparel.

After they changed to their uniformed club shirts, we headed towards the community chapel to where the stage was. We passed by shanties and garbage-laden pathways with stagnant water pooled outside the houses. It was definitely a breeding ground for diseases. We got to the cordoned area where volunteer dentists and nurses were already in full motion. I went up the stage and checked the operations in progress while the club members didn't know what to do as most of them flocked together under the shade and chitchatted until it was time for them to pose for posterity's sake. They were just there for attendance as a club requirement. "Mao gyud ning tabang-tabang dayon kay hapit nasad eleksyon!" muttered an old lady who thought this was a political campaign. I didn't stay long after I found out that the group had lunch catered for that event. I think it was inconsiderate to have a hearty meal in the middle of an impoverished community where hungry kids look at you from behind the ropes as you eat. Those ropes defined the situation. Some see it as peace and order, others discrimination. The situation looked good but it didn't taste good to me. When you're uninvited, you know when to leave.

So why do crashers exist? Maybe they want to belong in a society who might have neglected them because they do not measure up to a certain standard. Some people make a career out of being a crasher. Who doesn't want to be in parties where you get free food and drinks? What if you invite people and they turn down your invitation for some lame reason? Or you make up some excuse not to invite people close to you because you are afraid of what others might say? Have you ever heartily invited people you don't know and in turn, they are so grateful for that gesture?

As Alanis Morissette sings: "You're uninvited, an unfortunate slight, I don't think you unworthy. I need a moment to deliberate."