Clueless

I read with interest the column of Marichu Villanueva about how President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo discovered one year too late that the winner of a condominium unit she raffled off, still had to take possession of said unit due to bureaucratic red tape and prohibitive costs of processing.

The President was quoted as saying "Dapat pag regalo, dapat walang gagastusin yung taong tatanggap." She must have read the biblical text that says "A gift from the Lord comes with no burden."

Being an outside the box kind of person I humbly suggest to the President that she immediately put up a Department of undelivered promises.

I wonder just how many undelivered promises would be logged in their website or their register of complaints.

Offhand we could tell her of the many promises made by the DOTC on the opening of the NAIA-3.

There’s also the inter-connection of the South Luzon Expressway (SLEX) and the Star toll. The SLEX is already embarking on a major rehabilitation program but the connection to the STAR tollway has not been done IN SPITE OF 3 PRESIDENTIAL groundbreaking.

Either there is no money to be made or some businessmen and politician are paying to stop the connection because it would disrupt the profitability of bus companies which are also under the DOTC. Of course it’s quite convenient that the Department of Public Works & Highways is under a PMA classmate of Mendoza.

Another undelivered promise is the north and south railway development, to date everything has been photo opportunities and press release. In the same category are numerous provincial airports such as Busuanga, Bohol, Batanes, etc. While these destinations continue to be crowd favorites, the DOTC can’t even develop decent terminals of international standards.

Between the Department of Agriculture and the DPWH we hear all this talk of developing farm to market roads, yet in the interior areas of rural Lipa, Batangas the government couldn’t even fix a collapsed quarry road that the former Mayor Ben Umali carved out.

Senator Ralph Recto who promised to do something about the road when he first ran for Senator found himself being accused of having personal interests in the area. Sadly he allowed false accusations to deprive many lot owners to develop the area for farming and leisure. As a result Recto unwittingly signed a confession of an undelivered promise.

If Secretary Romulo Neri really wants to make more agricultural land available, they can start with a "Herodian" decree whereby owners of all agricultural lands must make a personal appearance and show proof of residency for the last two years.

Whatever the case, the President should take advantage of the forward movement we now see in the economy and follow up on better delivery of service and more action from her overly political cabinet members.

Let us not talk about New Year’s resolutions, let her cabinet come up with achievable plans for their respective departments.

* * *

Into the home stretch of our Christmas holidays, most of us are now anticipating the New Year with childlike joy for revelry or geriatric fear of loud noises. I personally am caught in between.

I look with envy at those mid-lifers going around the block with their PVC bazookas powered by denatured alcohol gleefully firing away at stray cats and dogs or waging mock battles with kids old enough to be their grandchildren.

I know a lot of you don’t approve of it. The unwelcome disturbance and offending noise, the waste of money and dangerous nature of the "TOY" that could cause burns, and certainly the childishness of these grown-ups with their "kanto boy bellies" sticking out on display.

Ironically, it’s just a continuation and adaptation of the little innocence that remains in us. The kids who each year excitedly planned, saved, and set out in search of the perfect bamboo cannon.

Each passing year was a continuing ritual from being a "saling pusa" or "miron" too small or too young to wield a bolo, too little to carry the bamboo pole, or still ignorant about the fine art of whittling a bamboo and burning a nail through it.

Strange how no one has ever thought of making "Ready to use" bamboo cannons?! That would surely create a steady demand for bamboo, which in turn would create at least a few hundred jobs, which would encourage more farmers to grow and value the product.

Even sadder is the fact that you really have to go out of your way to buy something that used to be available near every market, like the guy we bought from near Nepa Q-Mart.

Nowadays you have go to Taguig on the other side of C-5 or Las Piñas just outside the toll road. One of the most useful natural products for home and garden forced out of the metropolis. Back then they were available pre-cut. During the holidays the Bamboo man knew that most people were looking for bamboo to skewer a pig for lechon or to make a cannon.

The perfect size was 5 to 6 inches in diameter, that meant the bamboo was "aged" enough to take the pressure and the heat. That also meant good fire power! The bigger boys always knew the right formula and if not, the neighborhood carpenter could be bribed with a pack of Lucky Strikes to do the project.

Eventually you grow up and your entrusted to be the runner or the "go get this guy". With such a privilege, it matters not that you’ve volunteered your father's favorite lagare or maybe his jigsaw. Mom’s favorite de-boning knife will do wonders whittling the bamboo skin, and of course the family drill would be more sophisticated than a red hot nail.

But they send you back for a nail and a pair of pliers. Bamboo cannons crack when drilled, then you learn the mystical way to fire-forge the six inch nail, you watch like a Kung Fu pupil as the fired red nail pierces the bamboo, and you gaze at the dragon like spirit of burning bamboo float as smoke before your eyes.

Whittling and piercing does not a cannon make. Now you and your gang of Buccaneers (which was the in word then, Pirates nowadays) must search for a piece of pipe or maybe take your chances with the bareta or crow bar in order to break the dividing chambers and make hollow your bamboo cannon.

And now the final act. Like the Samurai sword, the bamboo canon must first be filled with the magical "gaas" (kerosene) then you place the bamboo cannon over a gentle fire only enough to warm up the cannon and its spittle.

After a few tries, your canon fights off the neighborhood pirates, the angry ghosts, and from time to time frightens you as it backfires and burns your eyelids, your eyebrows . . . but who cares?! IT’S FUN!!!!

What on earth is this article doing in the opinion section you might ask?

The point dear reader is to make you realize that the holidays and celebrations is as much about the preparation, the anticipation, and creating tradition.

It’s not just about food and drinks, noise and merriment. It’s about reliving, reviving, and restarting.