Summit Pot Shots

It's the advent of the ASEAN summit, and the leaders of this region, and then some, are about to hit Cebu. The Arroyo administration has spent buckets of cash trying to prettify the place, and make it look more presentable to visiting dignitaries. Looking around, there's much to admire. Unfortunately, there're lots more to deride.

For example, we've to congratulate the architects of that road leading from Waterfront down to ShoeMart (I actually know the name of this particular street, but I find it's such a Cebuano trait not to know street names. Since it will be useless for me to name this one, as you readers are just going to cast about your non-existent mental map for its location, I think I'll adopt this particular foible for the moment.) The landscaping arrangements blend perfectly with the street, the rock formations are elegant, and the iron pots are beautifully proportioned.

On the other hand, they did install those fire engine-red and brilliant blue metal streetlights that look like pop renditions of a golf iron, and that shaved a little from the street's attractiveness factor. Like, I can't believe how many streetlights are installed on a single road. Where's the sense of proportion? Why do we need streetlights that are spaced ten paces apart from each other? You can take out every other golf stick, and still come up with a decent lighting system for the street.

Of course, the alternative theory floated by some jaded friends was that somebody made a lot of money pushing those atrocities to the government. Not a very far-fetched theory, that one.

Which leads us to those installations along the road leading to Mactan Shangri-la Hotel. Has anyone seen those plaster (or are they clay) busts of the local hero, Lapu-Lapu? Roughly twenty to thirty of them have been installed on the road leading to the luxe hotel and they're, um, strange, to say the least. First, they're colored a dull orange (just like a clay pot), second, they're tilted by about 15 degrees, making viewers likewise tilt their heads in order to look straight in Lapu-Lapu's eyes, and third, why so many? Do we really need a constant reminder to visitors about the local chieftain who (as a friend archly notes) killed the very first tourist in this country?

What about the pseudo-Grecian urns that have been installed beside the bridge just beside the Ayala Mall? Not only do they create obstructions on the sidewalk, they also proudly bear dead flowers. I'd really like to meet the person who approved the purchase orders for these urns, just so I can take a good look at that humanoid breed possessed with that certain je ne sais quoi pas ...aesthetics, perhaps? Maybe, I can prevail upon the Arts Council of Cebu to give an instant Humanities course to the government department concerned.

All these things might be minor, you think, but I wouldn't be wrong in asserting that these purchases just set us back by the multi-millions. And if you have that much money to throw around (and since we've already settled the issue of priorities at this point - meaning the government has chosen shallow window dressing over less important concerns like, say, defeating poverty or reducing foreign debt), they might as well pick out items that are worth it. Stuff you'd actually be proud to have in the city.

Why not commission a local artist to come up with a commemorative sculpture? Like a Miro-esque piece that can dominate the cityscape? Or to design unique street lamps reflective of Cebu culture that are easily (and cheaply) reproducible? Or to fashion native icons or emblems that can be spread across city streets? Were these too hard to imagine?

I think Cebu missed a great opportunity here. Meanwhile, it's spent tons in repaving concrete streets with asphalt (which I hear is a no-no, because the concrete underneath will reject the asphalt top layer), white-washing bridges in cheap paint (as you can see, it's faded already after two weeks, not to mention the workers did a lousy job controlling the paint splotches from landing everywhere) and digging up nice sidewalks to install electric wires.

Next time, I'll volunteer my services as chief critic.