Weighty issues

A lot of people are really conscious of their weight. Especially in this day and age when models and media personalities are stick-thin, the obsession for the "in" figure can get menacing. And I mean the counting-calories-counting-pounds obsessed kind of conscious, which makes us normal people happy to be simple-minded and lousy at math anyway.

But at least once in everyone's life (save for the few genetically blessed), he or she will feel out of shape and will do something about it. My personal turning point was when l was shopping for a decent white top to wear to a party. You see I'm pear-shaped and borderline curvy, which makes it hard to shop when everything's usually for petite frames. After desperately trying to squeeze into the sizes that boutiques usually have, I realized two things: 1. The fashionable mold is size Small, and 2. If I wanted to have any clothes at all, I might as well fit into that mold. I had to lose weight.

So it began.

It usually starts with the diet. Yeah, the going "riceless" thing. Even if I couldn't be a clothing fashionista, I contented myself with trying the health fad. Made me trendy enough, I figured. I piled on the fruits and vegetables and shunned my favorite sweets. Have to say that it takes the discipline of a boot camp.

Also, I have realized that our quest for appropriate sizing must involve physical activity. Running regularly produced a 3-pound weight loss, as I coughed out a lung afterward. Walking works and also driving while yelling, which is aerobic. Use office-related anxiety to raise heart rate. Add in some school stuff and you're bound to shed some weight.

Others still swear by smoking to curb the appetite. But after coughing up one lung earlier, I figured I wouldn't waste the other. Chugging down lots of water before and after meals is filling and it aids digestion. The commonly practiced no-food-after-7PM-policy was torture. Keeping a "food journal", as recommended by many health experts, made me feel dorkier than usual. Chinese herbs work for many women but some of the ingredients just bug me. What does "Shiu Sen" do in the slimming tea? What is that anyway? A tip for anyone using these teas: Always bring toilet paper. Things can get messy, so to speak.

Then after a dizzying two months, I decided to call it quits. Not because there weren't results (after all that, sure there were), but then I thought: You know what, screw size Small! I missed my rice, ice cream, chicken wings and pita sandwiches. And the bouts with muscle cramps and semi-diarrhea (because of the laxative teas) left me longing for liposuction anyway. It was obsessive, thought-consuming and damaging to the self-esteem. It just had to stop.

So my figure won't ever be petite and my waistline will never be a "perfect" 24. But then again what does it really matter? Better to be happily contented than to try to squeeze into that narrow definition of "beauty". An overdose of vanity never did anyone any good. Self-confidence works greater wonders. Healthy self-esteem is a cheaper cosmetic. Makes one feel 5 pounds lighter and adds a natural glow to one's skin. Both are much better alternatives to the classic weight obsession syndrome.

Yes, many fashion boutiques are still inconsiderate of diverse sizes. Fashion magazines are even worse. But don't ever feel that you're the "wrong size". You look fabulous already, dahling, with that smile and easygoing charm. Beauty is subjective. As the cliché goes, it's really skin-deep. When the world is unkind to you, it's more important to be kind to yourself.

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