The culture of gratitude

When this country was yet Uncle Tom's understudy in democracy before earning independence in 1946, Thanksgiving Day in November used to be celebrated just as the "Star Spangled Banner" used to be sung in tandem with our then orig national anthem.

Thanksgiving Day is of American tradition from the Plymouth Pilgrims as a time for expressing thanks to God for the harvest and other blessings of the year about to end. Held on the fourth or last Thursday of November - which here falls two days hence - the conservative Americans cap their thanksgiving shindig with a roasted turkey on their dinner table.

Beyond the religious significance and symbolism, thanksgiving is a worthy tradition that mankind ought to honor and perpetuate, as part of human culture. Gratitude is not just being beholden to God, or even man, as benefactor that is beyond quantification, but also, an exquisite opportunity to feel in one's heart the purity of spiritual bliss.

At the heart of human nature is a reservoir of good which, even distractions by erosive modernity that the youth especially, may be vulnerable, always stays steadfast. And, reverence of the basic values, say, gratefulness is itself a virtue. However little favors or benefits received, or acts and gestures of kindness, deserve appreciation even by perfunctory but sincere "Thank you", "Salamat", or the abbreviated "TY", or by a simple handshake, or a fleeting hug.

When distance and time tend to make the mind forget, and hinder person-to-person expression of gratitude, resort to letter-writing, or text messaging, or e-mail posting on internet, is a handy substitute. The sincerity of thanksgiving can be aptly gauged by the import of the written words, or by the spirit between the lines and the silent eloquence of the unspoken.

For instance, though one is awfully ill at ease to cite a couple of snippets as they involve him, nevertheless, one finds no better and more fitting illustration of uncanny convergence of the virtue of gratitude in two sisters over the same incident, spanning a 13-year divide in time and a wide ocean divide in distance.

During the necrological services of the late Mayor "Boy" Cortes of Mandaue on April 16, 1993, one did a humble eulogy "From a Friend" in mourning over the demise of his "friendly boss and not a bossy friend". Eight days later, one of the Mayor's daughters, Dr. Stella Cortes-Favia, now a practicing specialist in Cagayan de Oro as Fellow in rheumatology, wrote a very poignant letter that partly said... "I have to admit it was your eulogy that touched me most. More so because I have been a witness to the deep love and care and concern you gave him. And I think he knew it, you alone were there to come and visit him even only just to sit down and just be there... In his last few years, friends of his were rare in their visits. He would have been too lonely, but then you were always there and I think that consoled him as it was such a joyful consolation for us his children to see you come and cheer him up".

Now after 13 years, it's haply uncanny that younger sister Luchie Cortes-Khan, a nurse now living in comfort with her husband and three children in Houston, Texas, but always homesick, made internet reconnection and professes to reading TF online. Her grateful message reads: "... I never really had a chance to say thank you for being a good friend to Papa while he was still alive. Papa treasured those chats you had when you visited him. He used to brag how lucky he was for having few but very decent, real honest to goodness friends. You meant a lot to Papa, Sir. Thank you so much. I know your friendship somehow made Papa's last years in this world better".

One now realizes his lapse for not finding a way to thank Stella for her thoughtfulness. However, one responded to Luchie thanking her for kind words over something that one can now honestly say as no monumental "good deeds", as Boy Scouts do. Both her and Stella's gracious letters over a simple but heartfelt and loyal friendship with their Papa until his last years, form parts of one's personal treasure trove to live by.

The culture of gratitude is a cyclical phenomenon, that is, a past kindness begets another. While one may not be able to express proper thanksgiving to his benefactor, similar acts of love and kindness could transcend time to encompass other benefactors and other beneficiaries in endless chain of reliving and thanksgiving.