Mutant Marcos

I'm eagerly awaiting the launch of the Imelda Collection.

According to the news, the Iron Butterfly (not to be confused with the rock band or the Canadian design house. And, apologies in advance to all the Iron Ladies, Margaret Thatcher and Indira Gandhi included, as this sobriquet is purely Philippine-made) has metamorphosed into a designer. Imelda is all set to unveil her unique collection of "funky" shoes, bags, and jewelry, all of which reportedly target an entire generation not yet born during the two decades she was still lording it over the country.

I wonder what kind of shoes she's going to select as part of her line. Those might be the bestsellers, since she made the idea of owning thousands of shoes semi-acceptable worldwide. Compared to Imelda, every other shoe fetishist, Sarah Jessica Parker included, can only be diagnosed with mild psychoses. This Madame, on the other hand, is seriously ill.

But wait, what does it mean when her line is described as "funky"? Looking at the couture-clad and Prada-shod former First Lady, one would never believe Imelda is capable of funk. Unless by funk we refer to an olfactory assault on our senses?

Hmm. The elegant First Lady, gone funky? Surely, she's not going to have those awful clunky hospital-bound Crocs included in her shoe collection? Or does she mean shoes made with rubber soles, which when used to slap the face of your irritating maid du jour, will leave a mark on her cheek reading "Tapak Imelda" Or do I mean, "Tatak Imelda"?

Or jewelry. What kind of jewelry would qualify as funky for Imelda, who is renowned for the store-bought jewels (not inherited, as the old riche pointedly note) she has in her personal collection? (Speaking of which, whatever happened to the plan to auction her confiscated jewels?)

Probably, these would be jewelry that the oppressed, the human rights victims, the enemies of the dictator, all those who found themselves on the wrong side of the fence, had to hock in order to spring their relatives from jail. To bribe corrupt jail guards. To pay for expensive lawsuits to recover their confiscated properties against the Marcoses. Yup, all those family heirlooms, pawned to buy freedom, ending up in a collection described as 'funky.' Wouldn't that be rich?

Now that we're done wondering about what Imelda will sell, maybe it's time to wonder about who's going to buy. I guess, her market would be those young kids who weren't paying too much attention to their school lessons in contemporary Philippine history, totally clueless about life under a dictatorship, knowing Imelda only as a historical footnote.

Talk about bad taste. Oh, I don't mean her fashion taste, as soon to be revealed to a world curious as to how her fashion sense will play out in the items selected as part of her line. I'm referring to Imelda's decision to capitalize on the public's avid curiosity over the Marcos family, and to make buckets of money from the gullible and the insensitive.

Oh well, could we have expected more discernment from the same woman who closed the entire Saks Fifth Avenue department store for her entourage's personal shopping trips, spending loads of dollars siphoned from unknown sources while her citizens died from hunger?

I do not understand how a woman universally reviled a decade ago can have the chutzpah to hawk merchandise, and to actually ask the world at large to appreciate what she calls taste, and to fork over hard-earned pesos that took them months to earn (as opposed to the ease with which her family raised revenues multiple-fold).

Or, should it be, this is just to be expected from a woman who has expressed her interest in running for Mayor of Manila next year? (Her, or her grandson, who up to now has kept himself distanced from politics, and may, as yet, be forgiven the sins of his grandfather. That is, until he casts his lot with the devil.)

So is this just one big publicity stunt, designed to create a buzz, and ultimately, garner votes? Knowing Imelda's history, I wouldn't put it past her. And the sad thing is, it just might work. The cocoon's still being spun, but as early as this, I think we can already predict what kind of creature will reveal itself.