The Big Fish and Twelve Years

Sometimes you just gotta see things for yourself.

A few months back or maybe even a year ago, I asked someone if a certain movie was any good. The movie was Big Fish.

Right off the bat I was suspicious of the movie’s poster/promo material. "FREAKY" it seemed to me. To begin with, the art work seemed to be more in line with horror movies for which I have no liking or interest whatsoever!

I trusted the person to be a good judge of movies and his synopsis was "it’s a bit strange, much about a son who was subconsciously idolizing or worshipping his estranged (maybe strange) father.

No thanks. Not my type so I passed on that one.

But have you ever heard of divine appointments when things just jive or come together and deals with things that need to be dealt with? I’ve had a lot of time to reflect lately and its interesting what passes our minds.

How often do we find ourselves asking questions that will never be answered until we join in the never ending reunion in the sky?

Questions we always wanted to ask, things we always wanted to really know but chose to die in silence.

Closures that never took place or summaries that will neither be confirmed or denied because the people involved are either dead or gone. In some cases they’re still around but would you dare ask such questions and can you handle the truth?

Most of us have too much love at stake or too much fear. Sometimes we don’t even know why. Living in denial simplifies life, preserves the status quo however unhappy or defective or unstable it maybe.

Others have a harder time of it. They toss and turn, they draw up scenarios from their tormented minds, they pass judgment or make assumptions based on presumptions. Logic dictates the answers to fit in that category. Logic divorced from truth or humanity.

I envy the few who know better, the handful brave enough to ask almost in a hushed tone, the faithful who would ask humbly, imploring yet direct.

I even envy those who simply believe, who choose to believe.

We want so much for things to be the way we expect them to be that we forget about others. We blindly insist on how things should be, not realizing it would be equivalent to taking every color away from a rainbow.

My dad once asked me "Why do you always see my feet of clay?"

It was biblical poetry used to ask why I focused on his weakness, why I always criticized him. Sadly they were beautiful honest words from a hurting father, words lost on an immature son lacking wisdom and without God.

At fifty years old I now know the answer, "I look at your feet of clay because it would be too painful to look up and find out you’re not there."

Just like in the movie, I had enough time to find out what really mattered. We could get the endings that we want but might not like it. We could carry on looking at the feet of clay and not see the wonderful person. Or we could just like in the movie follow our heart, follow our curiosity and discover beautiful things because we chose to see a rainbow, believe a dream.

That’s what the movie is really all about. A very serious test, a very serious challenge for you to find out if you’ve lost the child in you, revelation of what kind of human being you’ve turned out to be, and maybe, just maybe a second chance . . . .

(THE BIG FISH: Ewan McGregor / Albert Finney / Danny DeVitto / Jessica Lange)

* * *

"12 Years" is not a movie, it’s a real story with a real lesson.

Twelve years ago two brothers came upon their inheritance. But unlike most people, they were not sure what to do. To begin with, the inheritance were each a piece of farm land that weren’t too small to be useless, but not big enough to be really useful.

They could if they wanted to, plant just enough to grow their own vegetables, have lots of fresh flowers, space for children to play in, build a decent size house and maybe room for one goat.

The land was a bit of drive outside the city, they were both simply employees, and with very little money to spend or invest for that matter. So nothing much happened for about six years until the older brother learned of a much shorter way to get to the "farm."

First he tried out the road and true enough it was an hour and a half faster. That made it interesting. So he came more often just for the drive and a quick picnic with his wife. The younger brother on the other hand decided there was nothing he could do in his farm, so he went and put up a small business and still stayed as an employee.

The older brother decided he needed a toilet so he built one. Next he decided if he was going to keep visiting the farm, they should at least have a roof over their heads no matter how small.

And so he built one with lots of old wood scattered in the grounds. There was very little money to spare so it took months to save up until they finished the little hall or lanai sala they called it. They enjoyed the fresh air and being in the province so much the older brother decided to build a really tiny room.

Everything worked well until friends and family started "dropping by and staying overnight."

And so with very little money they planned and they dreamed of a very cheap house everyone could use. The younger brother in the meantime also wanted to have his own place. But he was very concerned about the expenses, it just didn’t seem right to spend so much money. So he put up another business.

Meanwhile the older brother decided the house simply had to go up. Money or no money things had to get moving. For six months all they had were lots of holes and doubts if they bit more than they could chew. Then cement and steel bars.

After one year there were 12 pillars made of concrete. After another year there were steel beams criss-crossing and connecting the pillars. People began to ask if they were building a church?

Soon their friends got so impatient waiting to use the house, one sent all they needed for a roof. A year after they had tiled floors. It didn’t take long before rooms were put up. Of course lots of people came to visit and quite a handful would stay for the weekend. It was just the way they did things. Everybody was welcome to share their blessings.

On the last year they finally got enough money to paint the house.

Soon after the brothers met to talk about business. He asked the older one "what you’ve been up to?"

Oh, I’ve decided to make use of the old abandoned farm no one seems to be interested in.

"How can you manage that if you don’t have any capital?"

I’ll just dig a hole and start all over.

* * *

In the past few months, I’ve talked to lots of people who seem to be stuck on the "not having money" issue. Or too many responsibilities to be able to afford to enjoy life or even just have a hobby.

Car collectors, specially the vintage guys, will tell you that having lots of cash is pretty pointless if the car you’re looking for is not available. Half of the guys who have all these nice cars grab the chance not the cash. Money you can earn, opportunities you can lose.

It’s all about getting started not downhearted.