Costume Party

San Francisco - As I step off the plane into a queue of wheelchairs awaiting old people to be transported to their final destination, macabre thoughts of Halloween started to run through my mind.

My paternal grandmother came to live with us after her long-term lease in Colon expired. She was a short-tempered woman who wasn't exactly very likeable. She used to sit on her rocking chair by the door in her dark bedroom until she fell asleep with her mouth open, exposing her remaining tooth. Mind you, that tooth could still tackle a fresh chicharon from the nearby market.

It was eerie whenever I pass by her bedroom knowing she sat on the other side of the door with her clanging bracelets, waiting for someone to visit. How can someone just sit in the dark and stare at the door the whole day? She wasn't disabled or sick but lonely. My aunt took care of her after working hours by accompanying her with television shows and news of the day.

I would despise my dad when he prodded me to go inside my Amah's room to ask if she wants something to eat. I know he wasn't her favorite among a brood of four but why doesn't he go visit his mother instead of asking me? I always receive a pile of curses from him whenever I resorted to that question.

It was an ordeal every time I visit because she would pretend to be asleep and I already knew the standard question and answer portion. I began to ask other questions about her life from her missing teeth to her bracelet which I took fancy upon. Little by little, I noticed that she would then come alive talking about her friends who have departed to another dimension in life.

I never thought I would look forward to visiting my grandmother in her dark room. There came a time when she threw a fit at my aunt and decided to go on a hunger strike. I was called to do collective bargaining with her as I would be present every feeding time. What have I gotten myself into? Okay, as a self-imposed warden I also threw in the snacks and vitamins for free.

I almost memorized her stories, the way it was narrated as if her friends were in the room. Sometimes, my Amah would see someone sitting by her bed or she would call my departed grandfather to massage her head whenever headaches strike. I came up with another scheme to break the monotony. I would then ask my sister to wait for me outside for a few minutes, and with our rehearsed cues, she would go inside and call me for our exit lines. My grandmother was too clever for that. She kept on telling us this particular party that she's attending. It's a grand affair and she has to be there. After a while, my sister stayed and I snuck out of the room.

One December morning, I cheerfully went over to her bedroom and did my wake up call. I went about describing what we're having for breakfast and if she'd wake up in an instant, I'd be glad to serve it pronto! She groggily woke up from a deep slumber as I patted her back and jokingly asked her if she was drunk last night from her partying.

I sat behind her for support as she grinned. We settled for a few minutes before she slumped in my arms. "Amah, hey don't go back to sleep now. Let's go brush your tooth and clean up!" Her eyes were closed and her body heavy as if she took off her costume and left it with me for coat check.

My grandmother just died in my arms. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and said a "Glory Be to the Father" prayer and maybe all the recitations I could possibly remember just to send my granny to heaven. My aunt was nearby preparing for work when I told her that Amah went back to sleep and would probably never wake up. Oh boy! That sent my aunt flying around the room in panic!

Quick! The medication. Glass of water. More pills. I really wondered if forcing a lump of herbal stuff down a dead person's throat and pump it with water would really make them come alive. In a few minutes, pandemonium broke! Someone called the ambulance while my mom started pricking my Amah's fingers with the hopes of unclogging stagnant blood.

I stood there amused and laughing. Forgive me Amah but this is hilarious! Why would they want to hold you from attending your party? Go and get ready! Alas, my grandmother got to attend the grand celebration of all the saints that day at the temple while we stayed behind mourning over a useless costume she took off. I could just imagine her slowly descending the grand staircase ala Rose in Titanic.