Don’t lose faith

It all seems as if our problems are never ending. Everyone has his or her own issues to contend with – whether it is a personal or a national problem. For instance, people may be worried about lack of money, poor health, need for food or even family disputes. Others may be unhappy or worried about someone they love. You may be anxious about your future or about your childrens’ and grandchildrens’ future. Often we think of our safety and protection, about the political condition that faces our country, or even about natural disasters or catastrophes that may bring about major changes in our lives.

In such times, we need to find internal strength and happiness. We need to uplift ourselves from the dark path and look at the bright side of things. We need to turn to God (the Supreme Being – whether it be Allah, Buddha or It) who will never fail us. He is the all-powerful, all-knowing and all-loving. And soon we will be rising triumphantly above the obstacles and hardships of this world.

You are probably thinking why all of a sudden I chose this topic to write about... Well, there have just been so many things going on and there never seems to be solutions. What is happening with the leakage problem of the Nurse Board Exam? It is still waiting for a decision to be made. The Guimaras Oil Spill problem is still a problem. In fact, there have been other toxic spills that have happened after the Guimaras tragedy and it seems our government and the people have not learned to be more careful. When a prisoner escapes from the prison cell, stricter measures are not implemented. Jail conditions and the environment have surely not been improved with stricter and stronger security measures. Just take a look at the Bilibid Prison in Muntinlupa, it does not look like a highly secured prison facility. It looks more like a barangay with markets and many food outlets. Naku naman please – I urged the officials to watch American movies (for a quick review) to get an idea of how a prison should look like and be managed.

Sad to say, we have not learned our lessons. We allow drama (of the same kind) after drama to unfold right before our very eyes after we have lost so many lives from the previous one. And this story repeats itself over and over again. Quite depressing, huh?

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My heart goes out to Nicole who allegedly was raped by the Americans. Nicole, don’t lose faith. As the Philippine Star banner writes – "the truth shall prevail".

I was a teenager myself and I had fun during my youth. Even if you have fun, you know your limits. I am sure Nicole wanted to have fun that night of the tragedy but for some reason, the excitement went beyond what was planned for the night. If Nicole did not mind what had happened to her, she would not have called it "foul play". But after the incident her conscience and maybe her inner psyche could not bear the distasteful ways she was handled. Maybe she felt that the man was already violating the very core of her being – and so she cried out "foul".

How can one person make a public announcement that is a scandal for no apparent reason? I mean what are Nicole’s motives to say that she was "raped"? I am sure she felt raped. She felt harassed. She felt violated.

When I went to Istanbul, Turkey almost ten years ago, my mother and I went to a Turkish Public Bath in a five-star hotel. I wanted to try out the popular Turkish bath that many have been clamoring about. So, when I was there in the public bath, the Turk who was assigned to me started to scrub my body. Surely you could see all the dead skin falling off my body. This man with his bare hands touched areas in my body where I felt were off limits (mind you not the private parts but close). From trying to be relaxed, I started to become scared and wanted everything to end. I asked him to rinse me right away and hurriedly left the room. When I got to my hotel room, I was dumbfounded. I felt ill. I kept on saying to myself, "what happened". I felt invaded and harassed. That night I could not sleep – the thoughts lingered on my mind. Up to this day, I remember that experience. What a traumatic one.

This experience has made me easily relate to Nicole. Not in the same way of course, because her experience seems to be a more serious one. And if she feels she is not getting enough support, I hope our Justice Department empathizes with her and seriously looks into the case.

The prosecutors should understand the "victim" more and just swallow their pride. They should not fight Nicole’s family at this time but instead respect their wishes. Be more patient with her. In truth, you are not naman the "victim," it is Nicole and her family who are grieving.

The prosecutors do not need to shout and cry on television. No doubt you worked hard on the case but if the client does not feel the support they want to have, quietly withdraw na lang. This is her personal battle not yours!

What a drama it would be if these were all staged on Nicole’s part – but somehow, there seems to be truth in Nicole’s story. Remember, even if she wins in the end, her life has already been scarred – it will be very difficult on Nicole’s part to erase this memory in her mind and heart.

As for the American, he may not have meant it to be that way. But somehow along the way our two cultures had clashed. The Filipina (Nicole) was not used to the American "liberated" way. Everyone who has studied in America knows how the American culture is so different from ours. Pinays are too mahinhin even if they go out and party – we are still the Maria Clara types totally different from American women. Enough said!

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Before I end, I would like to take heed of Rudyard Kipling’s poem entitled, "IF". This was a favorite poem of my grandfather Benito Soliven who passed it on to my father who has always turned to it when he needs inspiration. Now in my generation, I find solace in reading it and would want to share it with you:

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,

If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings – nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!