Bless Me Father For I Have Seen

My last confession was when I was dating a Roman Catholic priest. Here are my scenes:

I met Antoine through one of the Internet chat rooms. We just clicked in an instant through the power of typing words on the screen. No photos were exchanged but just thoughts about life. As each episode unraveled, he reluctantly told me that he was a full-fledged priest.

I've always been fascinated with the monastic life. I used to imagine myself living in one of the monasteries in Bukidnon where I tend to a vegetable garden, do basic chores and chant the rest of the day. One time, I shaved my head off and bugged my mom to sew me a grey cassock. Oh the endless sermons I got for heeding the call of a spiritual life!

I was brought up to believe that priests are untouchables because they belong up there in the altar with God. They have special powers to access God's direct line. Mothers who cannot afford to send their sons to school usually resort to sending their sons to the convent, hoping that someone will take care of their education and basic food and shelter. It's like entrusting everything to the Lord. Bahala na!

It didn't bother me going steady with a priest. After all, it's just a title attached to one's name. The important thing is the quality of the relationship. People used to say "When dating a priest, ang imong kalaban Ginoo!" Were they referring to a jealous God? God is someone personal. God reflects who you are. If a person loves, he sees a loving God. If one is of the jealous or condemning type, he sees a God who gets angry and punishes him with guilt. Know who you are and you will know who God is.

One day, I invited myself to visit his priory. Women (except mothers) weren't allowed to stay. I guess he pulled some strings and beads as I spent a few days living among priests. It so happened that they were celebrating the birthday of their superior and I was automatically included in the guest list. The caterers served flowing wine, champagne, beer as the brothers were doing karaoke with the band. I felt like an intruder, spying on what went on behind the scenes of the men in cassock.

It really opened my eyes as to how the other side of the grass grows. They were living more than comfortably. From dining with fancy plates and cutlery, prime cuts of meat and fresh produce to well-appointed living quarters with Internet connection, it is a privilege to belong in that order. More than that, I felt accepted into the family without malice or judgment that I was going out with a priest.

We eventually parted ways as he wasn't ready to take the relationship a step further considering the comfort he was accustomed to living in the convent. For years, I lost touch of Antoine. Until one day, I received a SMS from him asking if I'm still using the same number. I was so happy to hear from him and how I was instrumental in changing the course of his life.

He eventually left the convent to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a lawyer. He's always looked up to his late father who was a judge. It was a meaningful reunion as he wanted me to be there as he took his oath after passing the BAR exams.

This week marks the inauguration of Antoine's law firm, which is situated near the church. He joked, "Being an outstanding member of the church, kung makasala ta sa balaod, mu-simba dayon para maluwas!" Congrats, my dear Antoine.

With the recent church scandal involving altar boys and rape charges from a girl, we must forgive and look past the issue. Ask ourselves what have we learned from it? Pili lang, verdict or absolution.

Now those who raised their eyebrows, you may lower them and breathe. Amen.