Fit in or stick out

Don’t look now but the days of American style lawsuits and nuisance suits are at the door.

Unless the matter is quietly settled out of court, there is a pending law suit that will pit a cross-dresser or a man dressed up as a woman against a food outlet.

According to the cross-dresser he was discriminated upon when the manager asked him to leave the premises because of his "style".

Taking things at face value, such possibilities will certainly shake things up, worse than the debates over Con-con vs. Cha-cha.

To begin with, do we really have clearly defined rules or laws regarding discrimination?

Do people and their lawyers really understand these laws? Do we have fiscals who bother to save litigants and taxpayers money by throwing out pointless complaints?

If we do have such laws, does anybody even follow anti-discrimination laws?

Where do we draw the line between good taste, proper attire versus discrimination, in a time of changing economic classes and confused lifestyles? How do we judge poor taste against poor judgment?

For instance, my wife who is clearly a white foreigner wearing fashionable Banana Republic safari shorts, was refused service at a 5 star hotel lobby because of their no shorts, no sandals policy.

This in spite of the fact that the hotel was like a watering hole for birds . . . the low altitude type ("Ibong mababa ang lipad") who wore all sorts of garish outfits or practically with no outfit at all.

Another ex-pat friend was refused entry at a casino for wearing sneakers. As the guy pointed out, "my made in Switzerland sneakers was five times more expensive than the bouncers’ made in China rip-offs!"

That’s power for you folks!

But why complain? Millions of Filipinos are discriminated upon annually. The US Embassy clearly discriminates against single Filipinas based on age, economic status, and civil status.

It’s their prerogative. But there’s no denying that it is discrimination. Maybe if we didn’t develop the culture and the term "TNT" then we wouldn’t be discriminated upon.

All Pinoys are discriminated upon at almost every foreign port. To add insult to injury many diplomatic contacts will tell you that this is sanctioned by the Philippine government because of so much forgery and misrepresentation.

Let’s not even go to malls, our airport, or offices. Your looks, your "angas" determines your welcome.

Speaking of misrepresentation, the cross-dressing complainant would be well advised to consider certain things.

The presumption of many is that a cross-dresser is a gay person (nag ladlad). but in the West gay guys and women don’t necessarily cross dress. To them it’s a choice, a lifestyle, a compromise and not necessarily a fashion statement. They are a part of society because they fit in and not stand out as the smaller minority insists upon.

Sadly, media in the Philippines has greatly exaggerated the very manner of how we have historically viewed and poked fun at the gay lifestyle. Cross-dressing, non-gay celebrities now imprint our minds of how and what gay people should look like.

In terms of rights, what about the rights of people not to share toilet with the opposite sex? Women periodically tell me how disgusting it is to share toilet bowls with men who don’t lift the seat, have poor aim and don’t clean up after.

Imagine how women would react if they discovered that they’ve been sharing the toilet with a non-gay cross-dresser.

Violated! Yes, that’s what most of us feel.

I remember not so long ago when a very popular bar inside a very popular hotel instituted a policy that banned unescorted women. So many people particularly feminists raised a howl specially after a few of them were refused entry.

Discrimination they all howled, but did anybody consider the concepts of "solicitation" and "deterioration" of venue?

Because of its popularity the bar attracted lots of well-heeled clients specially expats. Of course the very enterprising prostitutes and pimps took advantage and started to flock there.

Consider my friend’s experience while celebrating one of his many small birthdays. He couldn’t help but notice the exceptional dancing ability of a mother-sister team.

Being a regular, he did not make a big deal when mom and daughter greeted him happy birthday and even danced a few numbers with him. He was truly happy to have met such a nice pair and fantastic dancers as well.

He later learned that they were truly a team; mamasan and daughter-saan man. As Mr. Soliven says: Sanamagan!

Want more discrimination?

Just read all the classified ads for job opportunities and you will see clearly discriminatory advertisements, if not genuinely stupid ads!

A number of ads state "Wanted male, wanted female, wanted . . . ", "Must be 25 to 35 years old" . . . Wanted female must be 5’2", male must be 5’6" . . . Ilokano preferred . . . Wanted fresh graduate with experience!!!

Sooner or later these advertisers are going to cross a legislator’s kid and that should get the ball rolling. What if you were immensely qualified but immensely under height like half of the country who all belong to Barangay 4’11"?

People can be discriminated upon for all the right and all the wrong reasons. In the end it’s a matter of choice.

Why bother with a place that doesn’t like you, doesn’t want you, and doesn’t need your money. Worse of all why give them more reasons to do so?

Fit in or stick out . . . but live with the consequence.