Inconceivable thoughts on motherhood
May 14, 2006 | 12:00am
Here are actual specimens recorded during my visits to various gynecologists. To all women who endured trips to the doctors' clinics with the hopes of becoming mothers, how sweet it is to be loved by you! Happy Mothers' Day!
Mad : Hi Doc! I'm entertaining the possibility of conceiving a child.
Doc : Don't you want to get married first?
Mad : Is that the latest medical requirement?
Doc : Lay down in a position like you're about to give birth.
Mad : I'm sorry but I haven't tried giving birth yet.
Doc : Spread your legs open on top of the stirrups.
Mad : Like this? Is that a tongue depressor? Do I say ahhh?
Mad : So do you feel anything down there?
Doc : Oh my God! Your cervix is so cute!
Mad : Should I be flattered about it?
Mad : Can you explain what endometriosis is?
Doc : Here, read the brochure coz I'm late for my golf and I haven't had lunch yet.
Doc : How can I help you?
Mad : I did my own test and I'm not sure if it's positively negative.
Doc : At six weeks, the size of the plasma should be this big.
Mad : You mean placenta? I thought you're referring to the TV over there.
Doc : Now you know it's not that easy to conceive a child.
Mad : I thought you just go in and out and that's it.
Doc : Did you pee? I'm gonna insert this probe in your cervix for sonogram.
Mad : Ouch! I think the condom snapped. I might get pregnant with this plastic probe.
I used to think that a woman doesn't have to give birth to her own child in order to experience being a mother. Some say it's really different if you have your own child. The key word is own. Do you love a person or a thing more if it's your own?
Let me share with you another living saint aside from Mother Theresa. India's "Hugging Mother Saint" is Mata Amritanandamavi, which literally means "Mother of Absolute Bliss". Lovingly called "Amma" (Sanskrit for mother), this Hindu spiritual leader was born to a low caste Hindu family in a poor fishing village in Kollam, a southern Indian coastal state of Kerala in India.
Loving as she is, there is an element of defiance in her as she comes from a conservative society where it is unthinkable for an unmarried girl to hug a man and she does it to thousands and thousands of people. Amma began hugging devotees at an early age, and is said to have hugged at least 21 million people over the past three decades.
When someone asked Amma why she receives every person who comes to her in a loving embrace, she replied, " If you ask the river,' why do you flow?' what can it say?"
One may wonder how is it possible for her to embrace each and every one in the same loving way, even if they were diseased or unpleasant, she points out, "When a bee hovers over a garden of varied flowers, what it beholds is not the difference between the flowers but the honey within them."
A devotee fondly recalls his first meeting with her. "She looked at me and smiled and I fell in love with her. The love was so powerful, so divine, and so protective that I could feel its fragrance. I could never get that experience from my biological mother".
A hug is a powerful voice that speaks from the heart without using words. Experience a hug today.
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Mad : Hi Doc! I'm entertaining the possibility of conceiving a child.
Doc : Don't you want to get married first?
Mad : Is that the latest medical requirement?
Mad : I'm sorry but I haven't tried giving birth yet.
Doc : Spread your legs open on top of the stirrups.
Mad : Like this? Is that a tongue depressor? Do I say ahhh?
Doc : Oh my God! Your cervix is so cute!
Mad : Should I be flattered about it?
Doc : Here, read the brochure coz I'm late for my golf and I haven't had lunch yet.
Mad : I did my own test and I'm not sure if it's positively negative.
Mad : You mean placenta? I thought you're referring to the TV over there.
Mad : I thought you just go in and out and that's it.
Mad : Ouch! I think the condom snapped. I might get pregnant with this plastic probe.
Let me share with you another living saint aside from Mother Theresa. India's "Hugging Mother Saint" is Mata Amritanandamavi, which literally means "Mother of Absolute Bliss". Lovingly called "Amma" (Sanskrit for mother), this Hindu spiritual leader was born to a low caste Hindu family in a poor fishing village in Kollam, a southern Indian coastal state of Kerala in India.
Loving as she is, there is an element of defiance in her as she comes from a conservative society where it is unthinkable for an unmarried girl to hug a man and she does it to thousands and thousands of people. Amma began hugging devotees at an early age, and is said to have hugged at least 21 million people over the past three decades.
When someone asked Amma why she receives every person who comes to her in a loving embrace, she replied, " If you ask the river,' why do you flow?' what can it say?"
One may wonder how is it possible for her to embrace each and every one in the same loving way, even if they were diseased or unpleasant, she points out, "When a bee hovers over a garden of varied flowers, what it beholds is not the difference between the flowers but the honey within them."
A devotee fondly recalls his first meeting with her. "She looked at me and smiled and I fell in love with her. The love was so powerful, so divine, and so protective that I could feel its fragrance. I could never get that experience from my biological mother".
A hug is a powerful voice that speaks from the heart without using words. Experience a hug today.
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