Children and the Church

A few weeks ago, I ran in this space some of the darndest things little children said in their talk with grownups, especially Art Linkletter, author of my favorite (no kidding) book "The Darndest Things Kids Say.

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Allow me to follow up that piece with the following side-splitters courtesy of our Opinion Ed (here she comes again!). If these items here do not make your day, something must be wrong with your funny bone or maybe you ain't got any at all.

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Children and the Church

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said.

"All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, 4better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

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After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

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A six-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "and forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

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A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered," Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

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Ms. Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.

"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.

Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius-the pilot!"

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The Sunday School teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

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A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.

From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"

"Yes, sweetheart," he answered. "God made me a long time ago."

"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"

"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."

Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"