From the botox of my face to the lipo of my tummy

The guffaws of the guys and the gasps of the girls said it all. Erotica, the subject that poet Reuel Aguila had brought up over drinks at the college reunion, was a matter to laugh at or to shush. "Libog (libido), is that all you have in your mind?" one of the men ribbed Reuel about a compilation of erotic poems he had told them about. "Time to change the topic," one of the women harrumphed.

But Reuel insisted. Fishing out papers from a briefcase, he explained: "Eroticism is something we all feel and experience everyday, just that we don’t acknowledge it because we’re trained to think that it’s taboo. Yet it’s everything about courtship and romance, desire and rejection." With that, he proceeded to recite one of his poems, "Pagnanasa (Desire) 2":

From the botox of my face

To the lipo of my tyan

Nali-lift ang spirit

Sa breast kong pina-enhance.

Dahil sa chemistry, uba’y napaitim;

Pumuti ang balat na dati’y madilim.

Dahil sa engineering, napagdugtong-dugtong

Ng tulay ang noo at tungki ng ilong.

Dahil sa physics, gravity ay na-defy

Binatak, umangat, lamang dati’y laylay.

Dahil sa mahika, umarko ang kilay,

Ang sebo sa pata’t bewang ay nalusaw,

Helera ng ngipin ay biglang nagpantay,

Pati dobleng leeg, naging isa na lang.

At naghimala

Ang patay ay nabuhay

Na mga kuko.

Reuel proved his point. Erotica, drawn from Eros, the Greek god of love whose arrows represent the power of passion, is not all lust. It is about the basic arousals of man and woman, of lovers and spouses, for companionship or contact. Why, it is even about that urge to preen, to look young even in late years, for attraction. All the classics from Aristotle to Zola dwell on life and love, for they are the greatest gifts. Even the Bible tells of David’s earthly drives and Solomon’s intimate imaginings. Erotica is prurient only in the eye of the beholder.

It wasn’t the first time that Reuel has had to defend erotica as art. His collection of verse had begun as a master’s thesis in literature at U.P.-Diliman. When he confided the project years ago to an assemblage of professors, painters and scientists, sniffs and snickers met him. Composer-poet Jess Santiago thought different, though. With a tinge of envy, he told the group that he too had always wanted to write about love and desire that he could read to his children without blush of vulgar. For, what is wrong except true feelings in the lines from Reuel’s "Odang Walang Katapusan (Ode With No End)": Tinutulaan kita, basang labi/ Dilang palangiti/ Patotong bumabagtas/ Sa bawat guhit ng aking balat/ Gaygayin mo ako’t/ Panindigin ang bawat balahibo?

And so from the thesis emerged the anthology, Magdaragat ng Pag-ibig at Iba Pang Tula ng Pagnanasa (The Seafarer of Love and Other Poems of Desire). In it Reuel tells the truth about self and society. Snatching out the hidden truth was always his goal in writing. He had "toured" the literary genres, scripting for teleplays and movies (such as Lino Brocka’s In This Corner), publishing stories and essays, and taking on odd jobs in brochure making and komiks. Recently he topped again the Palanca playwright awards. And now he returns to tell the truth through his first love, poetry. "What I know is, I write erotica because it is forbidden," Reuel proclaims. "If there’s anything I dislike most, it is the forbidden. Ever since, my work always has been to expose what is happening to man and humanity. And since eroticism happens to us everyday, I will write it."

Some poems in Magdaragat titillate of youthful crushes or secret romance: Nais kitang mahalin ngayong gabi/ Talikuran natin ang mga pangalang/ Ikinabit sa atin/ Upang magkaharap/ Sa ngalan ng pag-ibig/ Ikaw, ako sa isang silid/ Magniniig nang lihim/ Dapat lihim/ Pagkat di maaari. Others disturb, particularly that of distorted pleasure from the brutal rape of a comrade, of which Reuel and his ’70s contemporaries in U.P. are all too familiar. Most simply exalt that wondrous feeling everybody experiences but rarely understands: May puso ang magaspang kong palad/ Ang daliri kong kinakalyo/ Ang aking balikat, bisig at braso/ Kayat inibig ko silang nag-apuhap/ Ng ikabubuhay sa paggawa... Ay marami akong inibig.../ Pagkat marami akong puso... Sabihin pa, bawat bahagi ko/ Ay may puso/ Pati puso ko ay may puso/ Ngunit iya’y para sa iyo lamang.

"Pagnanasa 3" seems to have been dedicated to this old reviewer:

Bawat hiblang nalagas

Sa kanyang tuktok

Ay pagnanasang napigtas

Na di kayang maarok

Ng kabataang nagpapahaba

Ng buhok, o nagpapaikli

O nagpapakulot, o nagpapatuwid

O nagpapa-spike, o nagpapa-tomahawk.

Magdaragat launches with a CD version on Friday, Sept. 30, 6-9 p.m., at ’70s Bistro, Anonas Street, Project 3, Quezon City. Sponsored by Samapil U.P. theater troupe, a program consists of selected readings by Cherry Pie Pecache, Gardo Verzosa, Bibeth Orteza, Joel Saracho at Bagong Dugo, Joonee Gamboa and Joel Lamangan.

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