On the third year, we parents, tired from persuading and cajoling our children became the sagalas instead. That was memorable. Practically all of Metro Manila (friends and curious people) came to watch the parade of women in their thirties and forties, including golden girls. Unlike our teenage children, we felt elegant and comfortable wearing gowns and ternos. Although some of us went through a one-week crash diet, we knew we looked GOOD.
We felt in charge of ourselves. Finally, we were enjoying the joys of mid-life.
YOU SMARTEN UP. Robin M. Henig, author of a medical research, How A Woman Ages, says, "If you continue reading, thinking and creating all of your life, your intelligence increases If youre given an intelligence test that demands background knowledge, vocabulary, logical thinking skills, and you are given enough time, YOU WILL SCORE BETTER AS YOU AGE."
When one hits the third age, the children have grown up and finally, women can focus on themselves rather than their children or husbands. Life frees one from full-time service to others needs.
In the 20s, psychoanalyst Auchincloss says, " You are still very influenced by your peer group. You are anxious of what people think of you. You compare yourself to everyone else."
"Many of the physical problems we used to think of as accompanying age are delayed or even prevented now because we are in better health," says Robert Butler MD of the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York. "A lot of it has to do with commitment to yourself and your body."
After all, a fit, healthy 24-year old body is a gift most of us take for granted. A fit, healthy 50- or 70-year old body reflects a conscious decision we can take pride in.
Gerontologist Janet K. Belsky says, "If you have a good marriage, the chances are your marriage will get even better after the children leave the house." Studies of marriage and romance later in life, for the widowed or separated, find that they are more fulfilling than marriages of people in their twenties.
Why? "Older people have a great deal of experience in loving," says P. L. Berman, author of The Courage to Grow Old. "They have figured out what isnt love and what is. They have moved beyond the merely physical."
Becoming grandparents is an altogether different experience. Do you know why we enjoy being lolo and lola? a new grandparent mused. Because you can play with the kids or be charmed by their antics. Then, you can send them back to their parents to wipe off their dirt or attend to their ailments. There is also a new zest for living when a new generation arrives.
YOUR STRESS DIMINISHES. At this time, there is a general decrease in stressful life events, such as moving and changing jobs. There are also fewer dramatic biological changes such as puberty and pregnancy.
YOU MELLOW OUT. Older people are more able to tolerate the silliness of life that makes younger ones miserable. Dr. Steven P. Rose of Columbia University cites the brains alarm system, a center involved in arousal, anxiety and fear, as starting to shrink and lose function at the age of 40.
Gratitude deepens. When you were younger, you took life and health for granted. With age, you cherish life more, and feel that you are lucky to be alive.
And, finally, YOUR SPIRIT COMES ALIVE. You cannot run as fast as you once did. You feel physical limitations. Yet, the spiritual side of you becomes much stronger. You take time to reflect and make sense of your life experiences. For most of us, it becomes a deepening of the religious faith and "a greater development of interior life", Monsignor Fahey concludes. In other words, we obtain wisdom.
(For more information or reaction, please e-mail at exec@obmontessori.edu.ph or pssoliven@yahoo.com)