A tiny note to Jamby

Hey Jamby! It's been such a long time since we last saw each other. I mean, it's been like what, ten years? As in!

You know what? I'm sooo super, super happy you're now a Senator in the Republic of the Philippines. I mean who would have known when we were still snotty kids, when you were still playing with those cheap make-up kits and hoping for a Prince Charming to come and rescue you from your life of, er.., poverty, that you would ever become an elected official in this third world country!

But here you are. Not only do you have a handsome French aristocrat as a husband (never mind those nasty rumors about what his relatives think of you), but you actually have one vote in a legislative body of 24!

Now, this is actually the reason why I'm writing to you. I mean, it might never come to pass, but who knows? That idiotic bill I'm so worried about might just be passed by those nincompoops in the House of Representatives, and we both know what happens next. That bill is going to be presented to the Senate, which means, darling, beautiful you!

Didn't you proclaim yourself during the election as the voice of the youth and sponsor some events here designed to attract kids, like helicopter rides? (I know they said it was such a waste of money, but hey, I totally agree with you, everybody needs to ride a chopper at least once in their lifetime).

And I know we're both past our primes, but after all, we both are exquisite examples of successful Beverly Hills science projects. I'm telling you, they don't have a clue as to our real ages! So, indeed, we are the voice of youth! Not a doubt. Or at the very, very least, I still look five years younger than my real age of 29, so you should listen to moi.

Here's the thing. Some power grubbing legislators have thought of this super inane idea of carving the province of Cebu into three or four separate provinces. Now, they're saying this will be for the good of their constituents, blah blah blah, but you better not believe them, sister! Actually, if they're successful, this is going to let them be elected as governors of their areas!

Smart plan, huh? So who cares if their terms as Congressmen are about to expire? This will allow them to do some kinda hinduism, you know, that thing where they're born again? Reincarnation, I think? Yep, you better believe it, that nasty bill will keep their political careers alive, and they're going to be in a position to access more public funds! (Wink)

Now I'm sure you've heard of this brouhaha already. Just the other day, there was this huge catfight between this Congresswoman and our current Governess! I swear, the Governess threw a hissy fit because she's so against this division plan. I was so afraid the Congresswoman was going to slash the Governess' gown into pieces. But good thing another Congressman told the Governess that the Congresswoman wasn't being impolite, she was just "praying" with another half-wit colleague. Wonder why they let these public servants pray in public, I mean, so much for separation between church and state.

Anyway, so there you are, Jamby dear. You have got to, simply have to, vote against the bill dividing Cebu Province. I mean, the bill's proponents are going to court your votes for sure, but of course, the Madrigals are one of the oldest and richest families in this banana republic, so you won't be bought, right? Promise?

Gosh. I'm so relieved. I was really worried about it, you know. I know, I know. They say I don't have a political bone in my gorgeous body, but for some reason, I became so concerned. I mean, who needs four governors in one freaking island? As if they're questioning the capability of the one Governess we now have, like she can't handle it. Or maybe it's an anti-woman thing, they think that she can't handle it and therefore, she needs men to help her along. As if they never heard of vibra… ooops!

Forget I said that. Ok now, tata! Hope to see you in one of those tea parties the President is so fond of giving nowadays - she must be really worried about getting impeached. But that's another letter…