Trickle my fancy

Blurb: 'The keyword here being "trickle." That, my friends, is the economic program of the President of the Republic. Ensure that the wealth of the nation drips slowly down towards the hungry mouths of the masses.'

This is the way my mind works when I read the newspaper:

Headline: "GMA meets Hong Kong Investors on Monday."

(My thoughts: "And why the hell should we care?")

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo will meet with senior foreign investors in Hong Kong on June 20, according to a Malacañang statement posted on the government website.

(Uh-oh - government press release! Let's see what new spin they'll massage into this blatant junket. Another foreign trip at taxpayers' expense. I can't believe she's leaving the country so soon after the threatened coup d'etat that nearly destabilized her. Why, barely last week, the US Embassy wouldn't even let Kyan Douglas (of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy fame) out from his hotel room in Makati City for fear a coup would break out. And now here she goes, traipsing off to Hong Kong).

Arroyo will invite these investors to come to the Philippines and locate their investments here.

(Aha! So they aren't even investors yet - our dear president just decided to call them investors to justify her trip! And most probably, she's just going to give a pre-fab (and I don't mean prior to fabulous) speech designed to seduce them with our cheap labor and weak environmental standards, while pooh-poohing the criminality and the crushing poverty. Why doesn't she let them come here if they're really interested in investing? Total waste of government money… )

President Arroyo will be guest of honor Monday at a luncheon hosted by leading Hong Kong businessman Victor Fung.

(They never give us details. Who's Victor Fung, aside from being a "leading" businessman? And what does "leading" mean anyway, when in Hong Kong, everybody's a businessman? And how the heck did he get the privilege of hosting a lunch for the President? Hey, after this luncheon, his reputation in Hong Kong as a power player will be cemented).

Fung will gather a select group of leading investors to meet with her.

(Natch - how else will he be able to share the glory of hosting a private lunch with a head of state? Of course, "select group" here means his cronies and golfing buddies. And "leading investors"!? Hmmm. I guess the 'leading businessman' is somebody who is more leading than the 'leading investors.' I kind of liked it better when they were called 'senior foreign investors.')

She will discuss her second phase of her economic reform agenda.

(Yes. Because the first phase was such a total failure. Thus, her speech will be introduced with something like this - "The first phase of my economic reform agenda consisted of just that: Reform. But it turned out people in government are such hardcore sinners and they don't want to spontaneously reform. Hence, I am scrapping everything and launching this second phase. Which basically consists of everything I planned to do during the first two years of my presidency, plus some more bright ideas my even brighter advisers made up along the way.)

Her discussion will include specific actions being taken to support key growth sectors of the economy that offer vast opportunities for foreign investments.

(Of course, it doesn't occur to these foreign investors to wonder why, if they're such 'vast opportunities', local businessmen doesn't seem to want to enter these 'key sectors.')

It involves programs that ensure development gains will trickle down to the masses and sustainable economic growth.

(The keyword here being "trickle." That, my friends, is the economic program of the President of the Republic. Ensure that the wealth of the nation drips slowly down towards the hungry mouths of the masses.

Doesn't it make you wonder why she doesn't shoot for something more than "trickle"? I hate it when it dribbles. The feel is so much nicer when it gushes and spurts…

(Sigh. I'm still convinced this is a junket.)

Many thanks to Cebu Daily News, Friday June 17, 2005, for this news flash that I plagiarized.