Remembering your mother

Next Sunday is Mother’s Day. It all started with Anna Jarvis, who was able to persuade a local church in West Virginia to establish a national Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May 1908. It also happened to fall on the second death anniversary of her mother. Jarvis and friends advocated for Mother’s Day to become a national holiday and their efforts paid off. In 1914, Pres. Woodrow Wilson declared it a national holiday to be held every second Sunday of May. I suspect, however, that it was really Hallmark that invented Mother’s Day and the other days like Valentine’s Day, Father’s Day and Grandparents Day, among many others, so they can sell more cards. But it is just as well that Hallmark invented those special days since it’s always good to remember people whom you love, especially if it’s your mother.

During the state visit to Argentina with former President Joseph Estrada – while we were having a nightcap – Erap told one of our close friends, "Always remember, you have only one mother." Almost the whole evening, Erap kept repeating this to our friend. I could sense then that Joseph Estrada was truly devoted to his mother. On many occasions, he would tell us how much influence his mother had on him. Maybe that influence was not enough for him to do better as president. But if one can recall Max Soliven’s Impact interview on ABS-CBN last year when Joseph Estrada tearfully said that all he wanted was to clear his name for his mother’ sake. It’s good the Sandiganbayan allowed him to celebrate his mother’s 100th birthday tomorrow. There is no question that was the right thing to do.

All mothers are saints. I have always believed that they are the most important influence in anyone’s life. A child’s character can be molded by both parents but it’s really the kind of love that a mother gives her child that could make a lot of difference on how he develops his values. It is the father who usually gives the child the mind and the objectivity that would help him shape his world but it is the mother who develops the kind of heart that a child would have because, after all, we literally came from our mother’s womb.

Walt Disney gave the world so much happiness but only a few know that he had a terrible childhood. Disney just wouldn’t discuss the trauma that his father gave him. His father Elias, who was honest and hardworking, had a short temper. To discipline Disney and his brothers Roy, Herbert, and Raymond, Elias made them deliver newspapers in the harsh winters of Kansas. Elias got all their money and didn’t even share it with them. Not surprisingly, Roy, Herbert, and Raymond all left home as soon as they turned 19. Fortunately, their mother Flora was a cheerful woman who loved music and theatre. Elias told Disney, "You won’t make a living drawing pictures. You need a real job." Like the fairy godmother in Pinocchio, Flora gave Disney the boundless optimism that spurred him on to make his dream come true. He worked like a man possessed to create the characters, the films, and the theme parks that generations have grown up with. When You Wish Upon a Star – the Disney Corporation’s signature song – aptly symbolizes the approach to life that Flora taught her son Walt: Dream big dreams and live it.

On August 8, 1974, Richard Nixon was undeniably feeling down and out when he was about to leave the White House. In his incoherent but emotional farewell speech to the White House staff, he recalled how his mother was a saint. He went on to describe her as the one who always gave him the strength and the hope because she sacrificed so much to raise the whole brood including his brother Harold, who died of tuberculosis at an early age. Harold’s death, apart from his disgraceful exit from the US Presidency, was reportedly the most traumatic episode in Nixon’s life.

Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy, the matriarch of the Kennedy clan, had a very strong influence on the Kennedy brothers. JFK used to say that it only took one look from his mother to get him and his siblings to stop their famous "roughhousing" during their early childhood. Bobby Kennedy once said that he would have to keep individual files for his kids like the way his mother did with his brothers and sisters. Teddy Kennedy referred to their mother as the "glue that held them all together." Even today, the Kennedy grandchildren speak with deep reverence for the family matriarch – Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Ultimately, men no matter who they are, will always remember their mother during the best and the worst of times because it is only a mother who can give unconditional love and understanding when they need it the most. Going further back to history, we can see how the men who mattered were greatly influenced by their mothers and, thus, how these mothers have shaped the world - ancient and present. Jesus Christ himself loved his mother so much that Jesus called the apostle John and entrusted Mary to his care before he died. Aurelia Caesar raised Julius in her insula tenanted by foreigners and the underclass to toughen him. Caesar’s exposure to them enabled him to masterfully manipulate the common Roman; this was the secret of his political success, which baffled his enemies no end. His understanding of people from Europe, the Mediterranean, the Middle East, and Africa sharpened his military virtuosity that transformed the Roman Republic into the Roman Empire. After crossing the Rubicon River, he was the only Vir Militaris who could govern the unruly Romans as Dictator.

Our publisher Max Soliven always talked about his mother, Pelagia Villaflor, who had the biggest influence in his life. Max saw how she raised all nine children by herself as a young widow. GMA, too, was strongly influenced by her mother. They say that Doña Eva Macaraeg Macapagal was the strength and pillar of the Macapagal family. And it seems GMA drew most of her mother’s characteristics with her discipline and her survival instincts in politics.

Today also happens to be the first death anniversary of my own mother. She definitely had a very big influence on my life. A devout Catholic, she gave us the moral foundation which made our family what it is today. She was the shining light of our lives and that light gave us the hope that things would always turn out well for all of us. She was our nurturer, our guardian angel, from under whose loving wings we always found our solace and our refuge. She is gone now but we will always remember her and the light that continues to shine upon us. For people especially those who are about to begin their journey into the sunset of their lives, they will inevitably look back and remember one important person in their lives – their mother.

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