The devil and the Nazarene

My good friends keep sending me words of wisdom, which they have found helpful. One of my very good friends is Johnny Mercado, whom I have known at close range for more than fifty years – first as a young religious writer, with stars in his eyes, reporting for the Catholic Sentinel; then through the stormy days of martial law, when he was persecuted and imprisoned; and finally through the long years when he was a powerful journalist for the United Nations, based in Bangkok and in the United States. He sent me this, because it appealed very strongly to him:

The Resume of Jesus Christ

Address: Ephesians 1:20

Phone: Romans 10:13

Website: The Bible

Key Words: Christ, Lord, Saviour, Jesus

Hello! My name is Jesus – The Christ. Many call me "Lord" I have sent you my resume because I am seeking the top management position in your heart.

Please consider my accomplishments, as set forth in my resume.

Qualifications:

I founded the earth and established the heavens. (See Pro-verbs 3:19)

I formed man from the dust of the ground. (See Genesis 2:7)

I breathed into man the breath of life. (See Genesis 2:7)

I redeemed man from the curse of the law. (See Galatians 3:13)

The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant come upon your life through me. (See Galatians 3:14)

Occupational Background:

I have only had one employer. (See Luke 2:49)

I have never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful. My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me.

(See Matthew 3:15-17)

Skills. Work Experience:

Some of my skills and work experience include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the broken hearted, setting captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind, and setting at liberty them that are bruised. (See Luke 4:18)

I am a wonderful counselor (See Isaiah 9:16)

People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil. (See Proverbs 1:33)

Most importantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you of your sins. (See I John 1:7-9)

Educational Background:

I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding. (See Proverbs 2:6)

In me are hidden all of the reassures of wisdom and knowledge. (See Colossians 2:3)

My word is so powerful; it has been described as being a lamp unto your feet and a lamp unto your path. (See Psalms 119:105)

I can even tell you all the secrets of your heart. (See Psalms 44:21)

Major Accomplishments:

I was an active participant in the greatest Summit Meeting of all times. (See Genesis 1:26)

I laid down my life so that you may live. (See II Corinthians 5:15)

I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly. (See Collosians 2:15)

I have miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick, and raised the dead!

There are many more major accomplishments, too many to mention here. You can read them on my website, which is located at: www dot – the BIBLE. You do not need an Internet connection or computer to access my website.

References:

Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance.

In Summation:

Now that you have read my resume, I am confident that I am the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart. In summation, I will properly direct your paths. (See Proverbs 3:5-6) and I will lead you into everlasting life. (See John 6:47) When can I start? Time is of the essence. (See Hebrews 3:15) Please send this resume to everyone you know. You never know who may have an opening! Thank you for your help.

And may God bless you!

Another good friend who sends me things is Sister Emma Garol. She is a beautiful young nun, a Daughter of Saint Paul, who worked in my office for some time because the apostolate of the Daughters of Saint Paul is media. One woman, who had dealings with Sister Emma in my office, said: "She is the most beautiful nun, and the most pleasant person that I have ever known." She is now based in Australia, where she went through a bitter bout with cancer, and survived. She sent me this, because it appealed very strongly to her:

THE DEVIL’S BEATITUDES

Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians in Church – they are my workers.

Blessed are those Christians who want to be asked and expect to be thanked – I can use them.

Blessed are the touchy, with a bit of luck they may stop going to Church – they are my missionaries.

Blessed are those who are very religious but get on everyone’s nerves – they are mine forever.

Blessed are the trouble makers – they shall be called my children.

Blessed are those who have no time to pray – they are easy prey for me.

Blessed are the gossipers – for they are my secret agents.

Blessed are those who are critical of Church leadership – for they shall inherit a place with me, in my fate.

Blessed are the complainers – I am all ears for them.

Blessed are you when you read this and think it is about other people and not yourself – I’ve got you!

The great truth about Johnny Mercado’s "Resume of Christ Our Lord" is that God is really reaching out to us, constantly searching for the lost lamb.

And the great truth about Sister Emma’s "Beatitudes of Satan" is that you really have to work at loving God by loving people. The sounds of love don’t just happen. You have to make them!

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