"But amidst their laughter – and an occasional tear – lies a bitter tale," write the researchers. "Most of these Filipino maids venture abroad at the prime of their life, leaving behind their families and loved ones. Some give up the chance of getting married… Others have forsaken the opportunity to be with their children. Most, if not all, have made their fair share of sacrifices."
Interviews with the maids show how they’ve braved loneliness just to give their children back home a happy future.
Lorie Declaro, 38, used to have a maid at home, but now she wound up being a maid in Singapore.
Myriam Cajudo, fresh out of college took up the job of a maid in Singapore in 1997. The eldest child in her family, she had to find a job to pay for her brothers’ education. When the two got married, she paid for the P70, 000 expenses. "They had not saved anything," she said. The thing that hurt more was that her boyfriend of six years could no longer wait for her to return home. He married someone else.
The maids above are called modern heroes, but in his church, Filipino pastor Angel Luciano calls them "sacrificial lambs" as they "sacrifice themselves for their families. Reverend Luciano is chaplain to Filipinos working in Singapore. Through his regular column in the OFW Pinoy Star, a monthly magazine published for Filipino migrant workers in Singapore, he counsels maids who write in with their problems.
The sad and sometimes horrible stories experienced by maids are heart breaking. Luisa Tayco left Manila for Singapore in 1990. Three years later, she returned to Manila and found her five-year-old daughter dying of brain hemor-rhage, and her husband living with a mistress. Luisa’s son says, "I don’t miss Luisa. She doesn’t really feel like a mother to me."
Prescila Gallardo, 50, could hardly bear the reality of her husband having become an alcoholic, and her son turning to alcohol and drugs.
The researchers relate happy employer-maid relationships, which are not written about by media. There’s the case of Melba Revicencio, who became a close friend of the family of employer Girlie Lim. Melba had donated blood for Girlie’s mother, who was in constant need of blood transfusions. Melba’s act sealed the bond between Melba and the Lim family.
Despite the important roles maids play in Singapore households, some employers maintain a distance from their maids. Employer Soon Lai Huat says, "If you are too nice to them, they might take you for granted and take advantage of the situation then they won’t do their work well."
A study by Brenda Yeoh and Shirlena Huang show that what most employers fear is "the susceptibility of maids to undesirable, unhealthy or bad habits" after missing with the "wrong crowd." They fear the day a maid gets pregnant or runs away, breaching the terms stated in the employment contract, making the employer lose the S$5000 security deposit he or she has paid.
The researchers from Nanyang Technological University say that trust in employer-maid relationships may not form easily, but some employers do not hesitate to go the extra mile to make their maids feel like a part of the family.
Gilda Faca, 29, is showered with care and concern by the Chua family. "My ma’am told me when I first came, ‘Never mind if you don’t know how to cook. My husband will teach you.’ Now anything I cook, she eats, she doesn’t complain, she’ll say that my cooking is nice," says Gilda. In fact the family asks her to join them at mealtime. And Mrs. Chua lends Gilda a new pair of shoes on the maid’s days off. She bought her a new pair, too.
But many maids are not as lucky as Melba and Gilda. Over at the Filipino Resource Center at Holland Road is a shelter for runaway Filipino maids. Managed by the Philippine Embassy, it provides runaway maids abused by their employers with a place to stay. The abused cases are reported to the police, and as soon as their cases are settled, they are either sent back to the Philippines or found a new employer.
"A lot of them are being bullied and exploited," says Bridget Lew, chair of the Commission for Migrant and Itinerant People, a volunteer organization founded by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese in Singapore. "They are overworked and some employers make their maids sleep in the living room and even out on the balcony. One maid told me that she had sleep under the study table. Some of them also get abused by their employers’ children. They throw toilet brushes and detergent bottles at them. Other employers burn their maids with irons, or push their maid’s head into the refrigerator when they do something wrong."
Most maids run away out of sheer desperation, the researchers found out. They will try to put up with the abuse in order to complete their contracts. Social worker Ellen Elecanal, a member of the Filipino Catholic community, says they have to pay off their agency fees, while others borrowed money or sold off their land in order to come to Singapore to work. They want to earn money and not let their families down, so they put up with the abuse and continue working."
Ellen says maids may feel entrapped by their problems, and they need someone to talk to. "Without their families by their side and having nobody to empathize with their problems, they sometimes resort to the seemingly easiest way out – suicide."
There are maids who spend their free time with the Pinokyos Welfare Fund (PWF), a charitable organization set up by 12 of them with the aim of helping the needy back home. They raise funds by selling old books, toys and computers, and send back to their projects back home about S$500 a month.
One such recipient of their care is Dio Mari, a sickly baby back home. Other projects are five mini-libraries for poor students, and a basketball court in San Joaquin in Iloilo. PWF president Luisa Tayco says, "I just want to use my time here to do something meaningful, not just for myself, but also for people back in the Philippines, especially the children."
Still other maids try to improve themselves, like Melinda, who is taking courses in baking and sewing organized by the Filipino Overseas Workers, A non-profit organization set up in 1992 by religious leaders from Novena Church. Its skills training program encourages Filipino maids to take lessons in cooking, sewing, computing and even fashion design, receiving certificates of attendance at graduation ceremonies graced by the Philippine ambassador to Singapore. In 1990, 60 maids attended the courses; now there are 600 enrollees in the courses which have expanded to include aromatherapy massage, nursing, dancing, and even taekwondo.
Researchers Chong Chee Yang & Ng Hui Hui, Siew Yong Xin & Hwee Tynn, Joanne, are to be thanked for looking with great sympathy at the situation of Filipino maids in Singapore. One thing is clear from their discussion: they have learned to love the maids, tried as they did, but failed, to stay detached and objective.