The splinter and the beam

A very good friend, a doctor, was talking to me about his father. He said: "In many ways, he was a very good man. But the one thing in his character that I did not like was this: he was too hard and too harsh, with my mother. And he was hard and harsh with us, his children. I resented that, deeply."

But he grew up, became a doctor, and had children of his own. One was a beautiful little girl. When she was three years old, she did something bad. Of course it was not very bad – how bad can a three-year-old be? But her mother, the doctor’s wife, wanted her to realize that it was wrong. So she said to the child: "I will tell your father, when he comes home."

Much later, the mother wanted the child for something, but could not find her. She searched the house, calling the little girl by name. But the child did not appear. The mother searched the grounds. She could not find the child. At that point, the mother began to cry, fearing that the little girl had run away from home.

When the doctor came from work, she told him, in tears, that the child had disappeared. They phoned all the normal places to which she might have gone. She was not there. They phoned their relatives and friends. They had not seen her. Then they both went out of the house, going from place to place, searching. It was now late at night, and they had not found her. So finally, they notified the police.

At midnight the mother was sobbing, close to hysteria. The doctor decided that it would probably be best for them to get some sleep, and continue the search in the morning. They went to their room, and began to prepare for bed.

And the doctor heard a sound, underneath their bed. He knelt on the floor, and looked underneath the bed. There, in the farthest corner, was their little girl! He crept under the bed, to get her. When he put his hands on her little body, the child was trembling with fear, and sobbing. He brought her out, and sat on the bed, holding her in his arms.

And the thought struck him, with terrible intensity. He was thinking: "My God! What kind of a monster have I become, that this little child is afraid of me?" Then he realized that he was doing exactly the same things, to his wife and children, as his father had done to his mother and to him. If anything, he was worse. He was imitating all the things in his father which he did not like.

After that, he changed. He was 44 years old, but he changed. He became gentle, patient, compassionate. Both to his wife and to his children. That is the beautiful thing about being human. We are not made out of steel. We are not made out of wood. We are flesh and blood and nerves, with a heart and mind. We can change. At any period of our life, even if we are not young anymore, we can change!

Our Lord – who is God, and who created us – knows this. First, he knows that often we notice in others the faults of which we ourselves are guilty. We see the splinter in the eye of our brother, when we have a beam in our own.

So Our Lord said: "Do not try to remove the splinter from the eye of your brother, until you have removed the beam from your own…Then you will see, more clearly, how to remove the tiny splinter from the eye of your brother."

Our Lord also said: "Judge not, that you may not be judged." In practice that means: when you see someone acting in a way that is not proper, when you see someone doing things that hurt the feelings of others, do no waste your time judging him, or gossiping about him. The best thing to do is: make a great resolution that you will never act that way. The best way to correct your brother is to do it right, yourself.

God never lets anything happen to you unless he can draw it into the good. When you see someone acting beautifully, out of generosity, compassion and love, do not be jealous of him. Just resolve to do it that way, yourself. And when you see someone wounding a sensitive soul, just resolve that you will never wound anybody.

Even in your own actions – you can learn from everything you do right, and from everything you do wrong. That is the value of experience. When you do it right, resolve to repeat it; make it your habitual way of acting. And when you do it wrong, make a great resolution that you will not do that again. That’s how you grow. That’s how you change, for the better!

The little girl hid under the bed, trembling with fear. Make sure that your children do not hide under the bed, trembling with fear.

And texting certainly reaches people! "One Minute With God" started on Monday June 16, the first day of school. On Globe it is 2978. On Smart it is 326. In the first three hours I received 70 replies.

Some of the replies were grateful for the Gospel Message. Some resented it. But all who sent replies are taking the message seriously.

I will have to learn the abbreviated language of texting. In my mind I am still dominated by the spelling lessons we took in grade school.

Thank you to all who like the message. Sorry, to those who dislike it. And I will try to answer the deep questions that are being asked.

At least I am trying to answer the passionate pleas of John Paul II to all Catholic Communicators: to use the latest, most popular forms of communication!

If you receive the text "One Minute With God," and answer it – I appreciate it! I learn from every answer. Texting is a two-way street.