Bayan-bayanan

One of the most obvious differences between Philippine society and those that are relatively advanced is the length of nurture provided the young. A more precise way of stating the same idea is how long a period of dependency children may feel comfortable with, or, alternatively, how long parents will materially support their children without feeling that they are being taken advantage of or imposed upon.

An extended, perhaps even overextended, period of parental support for their children is normal among Filipinos. It is not unusual to find people in their mid-twenties and early thirties still drawing material sustenance largely from parents. The youthful dependents do not seem bothered by their condition of extended wardship and their parental guardians — some already among the elderly – appear to harbor little or no resentment in supporting those who have breached legal age quite a number of years ago.

How different it is in more developed societies! Even among the relatively well-off families, people in their late teens reflect much uneasiness in having to rely on their parents. Among families that are not as materially advantaged, the children and their parents have an increasingly sharp awareness of the need for young people to learn taking care of themselves. Among North Americans, Western Europeans and Scandinavians, it is not unusual for young people in their late teens and early twenties to try leaving their family homes to start their very own households. For them, this move amounts to a necessary rite of passage from the comfortable ambiguities of adolescence to the clearly-delineated challenges of adulthood.

It is highly probable that this spirit of independence and self-determination also increasingly attends the young in non-western societies experiencing sustained economic growth and long-term political stability. The pattern may already be discernible in countries like Japan, South Korea, Taiwan, Hongkong and Singapore. It is doubtful that countries that have been perennially in crisis, where economic development and effective governance have not transcended the realm of political rhetoric, will reflect this pattern of early self-reliance and its predictable consequence, self-respect, among the young.

Overextended nurture bonsais the young and keeps them from developing into functional and responsible adults. Too long a dependency generates habits that incline young people towards levity, laziness, procrastination and an unfortunate 911 – dial a help – mindset. Since their needs are largely met through the efforts or intercession of others, personal helplessness becomes a learned response to most of life’s challenges. Another consequence of this is that the young never get to develop a perspective that goes beyond the here and the now; no strategic sense emerges that allows them to deal with the present guided by long-term objectives or prognostic considerations. Whatever notion of the future there might be among them, that notion is far too hazy and gets to be easily traded for whatever conveniences the present might be made to yield. Band-aid remedies, quick fixes and instant-gratification devices become the dominant modality of the young in coping with their pressing realities.

Seriousness is not characteristic of those who had been doted on far too long.

The young, of course, do not stay young. They grow older and soon enough become the nation’s controlling generation. Their habits when young, however, do stay and – for better or worse – define the way this nation’s overall life is managed. Intimidated by self-reliance, wanting self-respect, lacking purposiveness and suffering much immaturity, the once-young – now the country’s authorities and its citizenry — cannot realistically expect to do well in a world where nations must compete for increasingly scarce resources and much valued, also increasingly formidably difficult, economic and political outcomes.

Overgrown children do not, of course cannot, manage a country well. Even with all the formal constitutional titles, overgrown children tasked with national administration can only play bayan-bayanan, much in the same spirit that normal children play bahay-bahayan. It is irrational to expect that overgrown children will be able to exercise political will or that they will be able to make sense of a nation’s economic and political imperatives. They cannot seriously be expected to understand what a national interest is and how a nation’s foreign policy must not confuse its particular interest(s) with those that other nations might have.

When overgrown children role play and do badly in their roles, an understanding adult must not be furious and call for impeachment. S/He must gently advise the poor bit-player to hie home, eat a good dinner, take a warm bath and perhaps to even sleep soundly, with sweet dreams no less.

Seriously, until Filipino parents understand that they must raise children to become functional and mature adults, this country’s unfortunate history of feckless governance, destabilizing injustice and deepening poverty will continue mercilessly. No viable national community can emerge from the ridiculous efforts of overgrown children, not even when the ever politically correct try to pass some of them off as caring, sacrificing and hardworking national leaders.