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Opinion

Reading the future in body language

GOTCHA - Jarius Bondoc -
It’s that time of the passing year for predictions about the incoming one. Only, this time it’s infinitely more exciting. With the jaded press bored with turbaned soothsayers’ usual prophesies of war and famine, it turned this yearend to the only other learned choice: politicians. Real politicians do not dabble in boring economic statistics and hard facts. That’s only for sociologists who scribble fat tomes like Future Shock or Megatrends. Or for nerds who gather at Davos to pinpoint where the world is headed. Nope, politicians are adept at dishing out what the people want, no matter how inane. The more inane, the better in fact for their chances of making the headlines. And, oh, what headlines the politicians have whipped up so far for the press.

One such shocker is former President Fidel Ramos’ supposed plan to make another run in 2004. No tattle-tale politician would allow attribution for a forecast on why a 72-year-old would seek that punishing job once more. So the papers simply quoted "reliable sources" in Ramos’ Lakas party, then ran the story without asking him. There was the usual excuse: he couldn’t be contacted for comment. The story sold, so it needed a follow-up for still more sales. Fortunately as planned, one pol found enough gall, er, guts to be identified: Rodolfo Biazon, senator of the Republic. It wasn’t important that Biazon isn’t with the ruling Lakas, but from the opposition LDP. What mattered was the inside dope he held.

To everyone’s delectation, Biazon revealed the vital info on Ramos: body language. The ex-President has become more publicly visible lately, he said. Not only that, Ramos pumps muscles with everybody he meets, while saying, "I just want to shake your hands, I am not campaigning." Biazon didn’t need to read a book on tarots to foresee what that means. "Why say you’re not campaigning when nobody’s asking?" he analyzed.

Perhaps his handlers should whisper to Biazon what the root word of "analysis" is. But that would spoil the fun. Especially when a political sabong was in the making between two former AFP chiefs of staff. So the press didn’t bother to ask Biazon if he was refraining from shaking people’s hands these holidays and saying "Happy New Year," lest he be rebuffed, "Who asked you?"

Yet sabong was exactly what Ramos fell for when he chose to dignify Biazon’s punditry. "He reads my body language, he says?" Ramos shot back, "He’s insecure . . . I am more physically fit than him." Ramos couldn’t be stopped: "People who read body language do not read newspapers." Oh, but they do; that’s precisely why they read body language – to read their names in the papers.

Ramos, of course, knows how the story came about. After his term ended in 1998, he had chose to be an elder statesman, advising national leaders on how to cope with problems he had himself confronted in office. And an eager salesman, too, flying around the world at the expense of his Ramos Foundation for Peace and Development to entice investors into RP. But certain one-time subs during his six-year term are still in the prime of their political lives. Statesmanship and salesmanship are not in their career paths. Yet they feel left out of the loop. In their minds, they deserve to be rewarded with their old Cabinet posts for their supposed roles in toppling Joseph Estrada and catapulting Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo to the Presidency. These, Ramos says, are the people either out of government or occupying lesser positions who are spreading word of his supposed plan for a run in 2004.

Speaker Jose de Venecia, as Lakas president, saw how the political intrigues could weaken the administration. He invited the party’s 20 top leaders to his birthday party on Christmas night as a show of unity. But Mrs. Arroyo, as Lakas chairman, beat him to the draw by hosting her own small dinner with five party leaders, including Ramos and De Venecia, three days ahead. There, Ramos made light of the rumors about his second run, and dwelt instead on the need to replace with young blood the old pols running the party machinery. De Venecia, whose teamwork with Ramos as Speaker from 1992 to 1998 is credited for the economic boom, said the former President is sincere about not running again. "He may be a healthy 72-year-old," the master strategist explained, "but how will he run if he needs a court decision to do so?"

The Constitution bars a President who has served his term, or four years as successor to the Presidency, from running for any reelection. While he dismisses all talk about his reelection, Ramos says it would be better for somebody to ask the Supreme Court this early to rule if the word means running only right after a term and not after a rest from office. He cites a good reason to test the waters: a possible comeback try by Joseph Estrada.

Publicity-hungry pols did not consider that constitutional stumbling block over which Ramos could trip. As long as the press gobbled up the story, it was good for still another follow-up. To cut down De Venecia for patiently explaining the impossibilities of Ramos running again, they sneered, "That’s because he will be Ramos’ vice presidential runningmate in 2004." Some papers ran that line unthinkingly. Had they bothered to ask for De Venecia’s reaction, they would have eaten crow. Imagine two men from the same province teaming up for the two highest positions in the land! Now that would be the day.

The more vicious story, of course, was about a coup d’etat in the making. Again, the sources were unidentified, but the coup plot was linked to the Young Officers Union. Again, the top but contending leaders of YOU, chairman Rafael Cardeno and spokesman Baron Cervantes, denied the story. But what the heck, it was making the headlines. For what made it sell was that disgruntled police officers supposedly were behind the plot.

Had the papers bothered to research from those in the know instead of delighting in the exciting tales of old pols, they would have had no story at all. For, no military officer or unit would ever follow a PNP plotter. And if, on the slim chance, the entire 115,000-man police force rebels, it would take only a platoon of Marines to make them surrender. But that doesn’t make for a headline-grabbing prediction, does it?
* * *
It’s also that time of the year for bass fishing in adjoining Lakes Caliraya and Lumot, Laguna. The Florida large-mouth bass – a game fisherman had seeded the man-made lakes with thousands of fingerlings in the mid-’70s – feeds voraciously during the cold months. Hundreds of anglers have trekked to the wilds and returned to regale their friends with exciting tales while gobbling up huge morsels of the tasty fish.

It really is a fighter. And a smart one too. Coached by sportswriter and champion angler Vic Milan this midweek, I found out that the bass is very elusive, playing in the deeper, choppy waters early in the morning or late in the afternoon, then perching in still waters in hundreds of small coves in between.

Upon hooking a bass, you have to keep the line tight and horse it in. The moment it feels slack, it zips up the surface and deftly spits out that pesky hook. I won’t tell you about the big one that got away because I tried to pump it in – taliktok-style – which only loosened the hook. The thing must have thought I was the weakest link before saying goodbye and diving back to its playground.

That’s the fun part. A sad revelation of the trip was that amateur fishermen – those who know nothing about conservation, only gluttony – reel in even baby bass with impunity. They think nothing about the future generations who would certainly would want to experience the thrill of catching – and releasing – gamefish. They haul in five- to six-inchers like they are harvesting tilapia from their backyard fishponds.

There oughta to be a law. Perhaps, it’s time for the Department of Environment and Natural Resources to impose fishing seasons, licenses and catch sizes. Like, 12 or 14 inches for the Florida largemouth. Or, the provincial authorities of Laguna and the municipal officials of Lumban and Cavinti towns can screen game fishermen, and limit their catch to only two each of the right size. Otherwise, the lake waters will run out of bass. Vic and I saw a couple of guys bragging about their catch of the day: 41 fighters. When they opened the box, we saw one 14-inch all right, probably weightin 1.2 kilos. The rest were babies five to eight inches long.
* * *
You can e-mail comments to [email protected].

BARON CERVANTES

BIAZON

DE VENECIA

DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENT AND NATURAL RESOURCES

FUTURE SHOCK

GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO

HAPPY NEW YEAR

JOSEPH ESTRADA

LAKAS

RAMOS

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