Easter reminds us how lucky we are to be ALIVE - A Voice From Americ

An unexamined life is not worth living.

-- Socrates

To get away from the myriad responsibilities at home and at work even for just three days is always a big challenge. During this Lenten season, I have committed to go into an annual spiritual retreat for much needed self-reflection to help me balance my own life.

Unlike last year, however, when my wife and I were the only Filipino couple who participated in a Franciscan friars-sponsored retreat in Malibu, California, this month I joined a group of about 60 Filipino Americans who are members of City on the Hill, a Catholic covenant community (the US extension of the Ligaya Ng Panginoon or Joy of the Lord community in the Philippines), in their Lenten Retreat in Riverside, California.

Although a spiritual retreat is a physically and mentally draining activity, it can lighten some heavy burden inside as it lifts the spirit and infuses an inexplicable energy to the soul. During ordinary days of the year, this important quadrant of life is often taken for granted.

In the United States, the fitness and nutrition industries are multi-billion dollar industries. To lose weight and calories is an elusive goal of millions of people who dream of looking like Hollywood models and celebrities. However, it seems paradoxical that there is no serious movement or a lucrative industry that promotes a "balanced" Christian life. On rare occasions, like this recently concluded Empowered Christian Living Retreat, we, the participants, were challenged to reflect and to inject some equilibrium to our lives.

Reading the Bible and meditating on the teachings of Christ are often set aside until some shocking tragedy like cancer or death befall our families. Indeed, doing the things that are truly important is a constant challenge for many people like me considering the many roles -- father, husband, businessman, and school van driver (or taga-sundo) for my son and his classmates -- I play during a typical work week. Hopefully, with a renewed commitment to serve as a pastoral leader in this newfound Catholic covenant community, City on the Hill, I, along with my wife, am praying that we can really live a more balanced life of work, prayer, study and social work.

At mid-life, (at what age, really?), as you grow older (and hopefully wiser!) you really mellow down and are no longer quick react to many mundane things because you now can say you've "been there, done that." A lot of things are not really that essential to one's happy and balanced life. Pleasures of the senses are ephemeral. But the inner peace and the serenity that emanate from the soul are more lasting. Beauty is skin-deep and fades with age but contentment of the spirit is deeper. While the body corrupts, the spirit lives on for eternity.

In solitude at the Divine World Seminary on a mountain top in Riverside, California, I tried to answer what is life and what is its purpose. It is a very simple question but a profound answer still eludes me to this day even as I have read many books that attempt to answer the same question. I still have to dig into the innermost recesses of my being to get some valid answers.

With both my parents gone, and our two children -- Donna Karen, 23, graduating from the university next month, and Ernest Jr. (EJ), 13, soon to be in high school -- growing up, my view of life has changed mentally, physically, socially and spiritually. Some things I have lost passion for and I now hunger for other things. For instance, 20 years ago, I used to love going to Las Vegas, now I couldn't care less. I would rather spend my leisure time in my "farm yard," tilling the soil with my bare hands, enjoying our various flowering plants and fruit-bearing trees or just watching my dozens of cockatiels and other birds in their aviary under our avocado tree. Simple life creates tranquility and genuine happiness.

I used to hate farm work back in Pangasinan, now I look forward to it. It's probably because back then it was a real back-breaking work and main source of livelihood. Today, it's just an expensive hobby in lieu of lying in a psychiatrist's couch!

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With this Lenten retreat, I came to realize that I have thousands more reasons to be grateful for and to give praise to my Creator.

A topic that hit me hardest this year is about humility: Jesus washing the feet of his disciples! (Did we ever wash somebody's odorous feet other than ours?) I first read that chapter in the Bible more than 30 years ago, but I never really understood its real meaning until now.

What a classic or profound example of true humility!

Some people believe they are the center of the universe. I've also told myself many times that "I am a self-made man" fostered by many readings, seminars and self-affirmations. During the weekend, a feeble voice whispered into me: "Ernie, did you really make yourself to where you are? Or was there Somebody mightier than you are who made you where you are now?" The silent answer was humbling.

With contrite heart and humility, I realized that a man is just a co-author of his own achievements! All I really did is a small human part that contributed to where I am now. He has freely given me everything, including my family, health and my life, and He can also taketh them away in a split second!

What a sobering experience to hear a silent but resonant voice deep inside that was kept suppressed for so long!

Our retreat master also told us many different epitaphs -- amusing, sad and philosophical -- in tombstones. To help us meditate, we were asked that if we could create a sentence or two for our tombstones, what will it be? It's been almost a week since, but I still could not compose the best lines on my tombstone to describe my life! I am praying to my Creator to give me another 50 years to learn the meaning of life and to compose my own epitaph.

Easter Sunday reminds me how lucky we are to be alive. We learned to walk, run, read, write, work, earn a living and live. We fall in love, get married and raise our own children. Along the way, we also worry, whine. Then, what? We die. The end! Is this all there is to life?

Unlike in my youth, I am occasionally reminded about the grim reality of my own mortality and this morbid thought becomes frightening sometimes -- simply because we all someday must undergo this journey called death that has no dress rehearsal. Unlike parachuting or motorcycling, there is never a practice for this once-in-a-lifetime-experience called death.

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A POSTSCRIPT FOR READERS IN THE PHILIPPINES:

Did you know that in the United States, which is predominantly a Protestant nation (Catholics are a small minority), we celebrate the Risen Christ with more lavish church preparations and fanfare than any other Sundays of the year, whereas the Philippines (a predominantly Catholic nation) venerates the suffering of Christ more? Even the crucifixes in most churches, especially in the Protestant Churches (Methodists, Lutherans. Baptists, etc.), show the Risen Christ with head up as opposed to the crosses in the Catholic churches in the Philippines that normally depict the suffering Christ with a bowed head. The difference seems insignificant but it says a lot about the national psychology of both nations.

Many Americans remember very few odd traits/characters of the Filipino people such as self-flagellation and processions during Lent, the Igorots in their G-strings, dog-eating and balut-eating people and the thousands of shoes of Imelda Marcos! Very sad and unfortunate commentaries about our countrymen in the eyes of Western world! This perception will again come alive during the Holy Week when TV satellites beam those processions where old-fashioned Catholics perform those masochistic/sadistic rituals of self-flagellation. In America, that practice does not exist, because Good Friday is almost an ordinary day, and most people still work. But on Easter Sunday, thousands of sunrise services occur and Christians start their celebration of the Resurrection of Christ.

Families put on their Sunday best and our churches are filled with music and jubilant celebrations. Some churches even host reception of food and wine after services. Needless to say, my first Lenten seasons here caused some culture shock.

I believe that there is a direct correlation between the manner Catholic nations like the Philippines and Mexico worship in their religion and the degree of their economic prosperity as a nation. To support my theory: many religious (Catholic) schools in he Philippines, like the University of Santo Tomas in Manila, are older than many great institutions of higher learning in the US like Stanford or Harvard. We were first, but now we are last!

Also, consider the history of the Pilgrims, one of the first settlers (undocumented immigrants) of America, who were brave, free-spirited and adventurous people and God-fearing Christians. They escaped England and risked all they had just to be free in the New World. On the other hand, the first settlers (illegal aliens) of the Philippines or Mexico were the Spaniards with some mercenary Portuguese -- with the Bible on one hand and a sword on the other hand. We know the rest of the story.

Religion has become a crutch of poor nations. People accept their poverty as a sort of an "indulgence" as they erroneously believe that "blessed are the poor for theirs is the kingdom of God." A very narrow interpretation of a biblical verse. I still believe and practice that "Sa Diyos ang awa, sa tao ang gawa." (God gives us mercy, but man must still work.)

For the Philippines to progress dramatically, she has to undergo drastic metamorphosis in many ways, including how people practice their faith (without work), to be able to create the desired results. I am reminded one definition of insanity, which is doing the same things over and over again, but expecting a different result. I don't believe the Filipino people are insane. This is my Easter prayer.

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The writer can be reached at [email protected] or ernie.delfin@ progressivetimes.com. You can also visit his website at www.progressivetimes.com.