DEAR ERNIE,
Thanks for sending some of your columns to me. They are wonderful and will serve as an eye-opener for our people.
My question is, how can we elevate our values if the family itself is degrading? What values are we inculcating in our children? What kind of society do we have now?
SOR. LETICIA D. DELFIN, O.P.
Cabanatuan City
DEAREST LETTY,
You are right when you said the family unit has changed so much from the years we were small children in the unpolluted farming community in Pangasinan. With such changes, society's sense of values and definition of morality have also changed.
A generation ago, life seemed so simple in the barrios. Working diligently on the farm, people found self-sufficiency and contentment. Our needs were few, our basic necessities were easy to fulfill. People may have been poorer then but probably much happier.
Surely, the world was safer then, but, it wasn't nearly as exciting. Now, we enjoy so much opportunities and have so many choices that our own parents never had.
You became a nun even after the initial disapproval of our parents (bless their souls). I, too disobeyed the wishes of our father.
Just look around you: our forefathers' dreams and fantasies are now a part of our reality. But this broadening of opportunities entails trade-offs. We pay for everything in this life and in so doing we often surrender the simple pleasures for the opportunity to discover the unknown.
Unfortunately, many get lost and only a few succeed in reaching their full potential. We often ask ourselves: Is it worth the work and sacrifice? We reminisce about the past as we stare at the bleak reality of the present. But these memories are just chapters in our lives, and so I am often impatient to get on with the business of living, so that in the twilight of my years, I won't mourn the unspent days of my life.
Nowadays, materialism is a dominant force in our society which often tangles with idealism. But your concerns should not petrify you into inaction as problems are an integral part of our lives. I am reminded of a story about Mother Teresa, when she was asked by a reporter whether her missionary work can ever make a dent on the poverty in Calcutta. She responded: "It might not make a lot of difference to ALL the poor children but to just one poor child who is touched, loved and brought back to health, it will indeed make a 100 percent difference!"
Console yourself, then, Letty, that in this life you can never change a man or a woman unless he or she wants to. The best you can do is to provide a role model, or better still some opportunities for others. But 5l percent of the efforts must come from the person involved. If you do not succeed with all the people that you wish to help, don't be alarmed, do not be utterly disappointed and make yourself unhappy.
Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved. Lastly, I would like to mention, Letty, that your frustration is not uncommon -- many people feel the same. Thus it is worthwhile to stop and remember St. Francis' Prayer for Serenity: "Lord, please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
There are no simple solutions to our problems. There are no safe roads to take. Therefore, just spend and enjoy wisely the precious days of your life.
YOUR BROTHER,
ERNIE