The Simple Girl Index

In every culture there is an ideal girl. And for Filipino men? She’s what we can just call “the simple girl.” Ask your guy friends to describe their dream girl and they come up with, among other things, this very machine-like response: “I want her to be cute, nice and simple.”

So wait — who is this simple girl? It is probably easier to just check out your Facebook account and check who among your friends are the ones happily married and living perfect lives. Yes, you got that right — they’re the “simple girls.”

This got me and my friends thinking. Is being a “simple girl” our key to a happily ever after? What do we need to do to achieve “simple girl” status? So over milk tea, tweets and e-mails, we’ve decided to put together some of our observations on what makes “the simple girl” tick.

Here it is — our very scientific and patented “Simple Girl Index” or SGI:

• Has long, straight, perfect “virgin” black hair, nary a stray hair in sight. (Plus 2)

My Comment: I’m trying to grow my hair. (my points: 1.0)

• If hair is in a ponytail, it is perfectly combed. (Plus 2)

I like ponytails but I think combing/brushing the hair is overrated. (1.0)

• Eyebrows are not too thin but not too thick. (Plus 2)

DUH! (2.0)

• Only uses soap and water to wash her face. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• If she uses moisturizer, it’s probably Pond’s cold cream. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Secretly uses whitening cream. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Opts for the “no makeup” look: face powder (J&J/Clean & Clear or MAC studio fix) plus lip gloss. (Plus 2)

PASS!

Every simple girl dreams of purchasing her first Louis Vuitton and this is usually a Speedy 30. 

• Gets a mani/pedi every week but will always asks for a French manicure. If not, it’s “colorless.” (Plus 2)

I kinda hate French manicures but I do love my weekly mani/pedi. (1.0)

• Doesn’t like to accessorize except for giant pearl earrings (maybe an occasional Charriol bracelet). (Plus 2)

PASS!

• For special occasions, she will take out the single-strand pearl necklace. (Plus 2)

How about a multiple-strand pearl necklace? (1.0)

• Technomarine is her watch of choice. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• For work, she likes to wear a 3/4th sleeve button-down shirt and black skirt/pants (nothing too tight or baggy). (Plus 2)

PASS!

• For casual affairs, likes to wear the perfect white shirt (crewneck, ladies’ fit) and jeans. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• On the weekends, likes to wear Lacoste pique polo and Bermuda shorts. (Plus 2)

PASS, since I really like the “basahan” look on weekends.

• She has a collection of black pumps for work. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Prefers to wear Tory Burch reva ballet flats. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• If it’s not the reva flats, they usually prefer nondescript ballet flats or Havaianas flip flops on the weekends. (Plus 2)

I love ballet flats! (2.0)

• Loves her Longchamp Le Pliage or Louis Vuitton Speedy 30 or Neverfull (only in Monogram Canvas or Damier). (Plus 2)

I have a monogram Neverfull but I used to love it. (1.0)

The Park Avenue Princess or the PAP is one of the simple girl’s pegs, so when PAP queen Tory Burch launched her own label, it was natural for the simple girl to covet TB’s ballet flats.

• Attaches her pocket anti-bacterial hand sanitizers to her bag handles. (Plus 2)

PASS! And what is up with those things?!?

• Her favorite perfume is anything from Bath and Body Works, Tommy Girl and/or Ralph Lauren Romance. (Plus 2)

I like Bath and Body Works! (1.0)

• Her current favorite sport is running, it used to be badminton. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• When unsure about what to order at a restaurant, she will always order carbonara and iced tea. (Plus 2)

PASS! I like a good steak!

• But she will always insist they should go to Cibo instead. (Plus 2)

I love Cibo. (2.0)

• Went to the first-day screening of Sex and the City: The Movie with girl friends. (Plus 2)

I saw it on the first weekend. (1.0)

• Has seen the movie multiple times in the theater. (Plus 2)

PASS – once was more than enough.

• Thinks she can relate to the SATC character Charlotte the most. (Plus 2)

PASS! Maybe Carrie or Miranda?

• Owns a small, hairy dog. (Plus 2)

I have five. (2.0)

• Always orders a non-fat latte or cappuccino at Starbucks. (Plus 2)

Sadly, I am very simple with one Splenda, please! (2.0)

• Follows Glee, Gossip Girl and Desperate Housewives religiously. (Plus 2)

I am a loyal Gossip Girl fan. (0.5)

• Has Seasons 1-10 of Friends on DVD. (Plus 2)

PASS!

While the simple girl saves up for her first Louis Vuitton, she totes around a Longchamp Le Pliage.

• She will always stop whatever she’s doing to watch The Notebook on HBO. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Considers Sophie Kinsella’s Shopaholic series her favorite books EVER. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Openly admits to loving the Twilight series. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Loved Eat, Pray, Love — the movie and the book. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Does not have opinions on controversial subjects like politics, religion, world affairs, etc. (Plus 2)

PASS – I’ve gotten into fights.

• Her musical taste is dictated by whatever Magic or RX radio plays. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• If she’s into rock music, she typically likes Coldplay or U2. (Plus 2)

I used to like both bands. (1.0)

• Shares a Facebook account with her husband or boyfriend. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Has multiple “Tagaytay” or “Punta Fuego” albums on Facebook. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Her Facebook profile photo is a jumping shot on the beach with her follow simple girl friends. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Doesn’t find anything wrong with “wacky” shots and calls sticking out her tongue a “wacky” shot. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• If she’s on Twitter, she follows Paulo Coelho or the Dailai Lama and retweets them a lot. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Likes to celebrate “monthsaries.” (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Goes to all bazaars. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Sells on Multiply or Bazaars. (Plus2)

PASS!

• Makes her husband/boyfriend carry her bag. (Plus 2)

PASS! I think this should be banned.

• Gives her daughter boy’s nicknames. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Press Release: Only one boyfriend since birth and marries him. (Plus 2)

PASS!

• Cannot relate to gay men (Plus 2)

PASS! I’ve been a fag hag since I was 11 years old.

• Occupation: Pre-school teacher. (Plus 2)

PASS!

So how did I stack up on our very own SGI? I got a measly 18.5 points out of a possible 100. I really need to work on my “inner” simple girl. I think simplicity, at its very core, means a happier life with fewer complications. Who wouldn’t want to achieve that?

When I first posted the SGI on my blog (http://divasoria.ph), I was inundated with questions about the true meaning of “simple.” To quote Carrie Bradshaw in one of the Sex and the City episodes: “The world is made up of two types of girls — The Simple Girl and The Katie (Complicated) Girl.”

There was one comment in my entry that struck a chord: “Filipino men like uninteresting girls because they’re intimidated by anything they don’t think they can control. If the girl is rather unique, it means they have a strong personality. From my observation, Filipino men cannot handle girls with a lot of personality. Mahilig sila sa sunod-sunodan. Think: a girl who will look pretty and occasionally give a ladylike laugh as she looks on while you and your drinking buddies have a drunken good time. Actually, better yet, she’s the one serving the drinks to you and your buddies.

“From what I’ve seen, Filipina girls with strong personalities are either single, married to/dating foreigners, or married to/dating Filipino men who are quite unconventional themselves.”

And ain’t that the truth?

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Grace Velasco blogs at http://www.divasoria.ph.