Kylie Aphrodite

MANILA, Philippines - SAN FRANCISCO, CA — “Can I kill you already?”

You can imagine how many gay friends said this when I told them I was watching Kylie Minogue’s “Aphrodite Live 2011” concert in San Francisco instead of Manila, where she is set to perform on July 5 at the Araneta Coliseum. But when I told my husband Noel I got tickets to the show, all I got was a blank stare — obviously he couldn’t care less.

We arrived at the Bill Graham Civic Center an hour prior on a cold and windy California day. As we made our way to the queue, Noel paused as he gazed upon droves of tank-top-clad or half-naked disarmingly handsome young men — all with bulging biceps, funky shoes, and sporting Euro-chic mohawks.

With his puzzled look, Noel noted, “Uhm, there aren’t any girls here.”

“So?” I replied. “Kylie Minogue is a gay icon!”

“She is?” he asked emphatically. “Aside from Locomotion, the only other thing I know about this woman is that she’s dating F1 world champion Sebastian Vettel.”

All of Kylie’s costume changes were spectacular. And so were her shoes! These gladiator shoes sparkled as she sashayed onstage.

That I didn’t know.  

As we worked our way into the auditorium, my usually talkative husband was rendered speechless as we encountered more concertgoers in feather boas, tiaras, and goddess outfits.

I asked why he was so silent.

“I’m not in my element,” was his polite reply.  

As we took the best spot nearest the stage, a slightly drunk fellow — Bryan — put his arm around Noel, and joked, “Oops, I think I just humped your ass.”

Noel grinned and pulled me back to cover his behind.

While his ass needed covering, I was laughing off mine.

Definitely not in his element!

Then Bryan put his arm around me this time and said, “Sorry, baby doll, you’re just not my type. He is…” teasing my husband.

I figured it was all for fun. I looked at Noel while unbuttoning Bryan’s shirt, “Yeah, look at the abs on this one. Yummy!”

I got the stare. Lucky me, the lights went dim before I got into trouble. 

After a short play of lights, the cameras started panning to the packed auditorium, catching gay couples lip locking and giving each other affectionate hugs. People were screaming, chanting, and jumping in reckless abandon.  

No expense was spared in creating Kylie Minogue’s Greek love fortress. The show concept was developed by Kylie herself along with long-time creative collaborator William Baker.

The video backdrop was illuminated, Greek-outfitted dancers spiraled the stage in astounding athleticism, the music intensified, smoke machines fogged the stage — and there, in an open-faced golden oyster shell, emerged Aphrodite. What an entrance! 

Kylie Minogue opened the show with the lead single for her 11th studio album of the same title — to roaring applause and perfect-pitch energy.

Lost in a moment of excitement and adrenaline, the crowd was on a saccharine-injected euphoric love high.

It was impossible not to marvel at the show’s spectacular production and cinematic value. Throughout the show, Aphrodite never disappointed.

Choreography was dramatic (not to mention provocative) with impeccable aerialists and a captivating angelic surprise.

The visual effects were dreamy, set on five gigantic screens.

Designers’ designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana designed all of Kylie’s elaborate and impeccable outfits for the show. This is the third time Dolce & Gabbana has worked with Kylie for a world tour.

The stage had a golden sweeping staircase, a 14-foot-tall gilded Pegasus, and golden chariot, just to name a few. 

The costumes: how to describe them? Featuring 200 glamorous outfits and 100 pairs of shoes with over a million diamante crystals and nearly 1,000 feathers. Kylie’s show-stopping costumes were all bespoke Dolce & Gabbana. In one word: stellar.  

Awe-inspiring moments kept coming as Kylie sang 24 of her songs, including her most popular hits: Can’t Get You Out of My Head, Love at First Sight, On a Night Like This, Spinning Around, Get Outta My Way, among others.  

And though Noel probably knew some of Kylie’s ’80s hits (Locomotion, I Should Be So Lucky, and Especially For You) — bnone of which were on the set list — he was obviously entranced by her performance. All he could say was, “She’s hot!”

When I told him she’s 43, his draw dropped, saying, “She’s one sexy cougar!”  

Despite not knowing a single song and the hilarious “ass humping” comment, my husband enjoyed the concert as much as I did.

Kylie Minogue is a hot ball of sizzling fire on stage. Her svelte physique and naughty glances make her a real spectacle. Coupled with her infectious energy and pitch-perfect singing, “Aphrodite Live 2011” is fast living up to its claim as the Australian’s diva’s best tour to date.

As we left Civic Center, I joked, “ You do know you’ll never hear the end of that story from me, right?”

He said, “Bryan’s really good looking!”

It was my turn to be dumbfounded.

Noel laughed, “Don’t worry, baby doll, he’s not my type.” 

* * *

Want to catch Kylie Minogue: Aphrodite Live 2011 in Manila? Call TicketNet at 911-5555 or Wilbros Live at 374-9999.

The stage was littered with marble columns, a 14-foot-tall golden Pegasus, a golden chariot, five video screens, and a sweeping staircase.