MANILA, Philippines - Everyone knows that you are sure to make unreasonable and impulsive choices when you are shopping while you are depressed. You go from one store to another and buy things that you do not really need and end up wearing them only once or twice after realizing that you prefer your old clothes rather than the new ones because you are more comfortable with them.
In reality, these impulsive choices lead to blowing your budget and literally “paying the price later.”
The same analogy applies in dating. Combining foggy judgment with the strong hold of gut feeling, sets you up to another painful learning experience. Feelings can really get tricky.These are the things that you should consider before saying that it is time to date again:
You have dropped the baggage
Everyone has a baggage, and I’m talking about the baggage, which your ex has left. When you keep on talking about your ex or dream of having him back again, you are pretty much not ready to date a new one. You are not going to make a go of it with someone who in your eyes does not compare to them, so give dating a miss until you see sense. Let go of the baggage. Accept that your loved one is gone and so you can see a future for yourself with someone else without it feeling the ghost of your past.
You are not doing it to boost your ego
Revenge, security, ego booster, are not the right reasons to date again. Using a date as a fix will only lead to a short term solution and you will have to face your problems eventually. Date because you feel good about yourself with or without another person, and not just because you are tired of being single.
You have found your old self back
When you get your heart broken, you lose sight of who you are as an individual. It can take some time to recover from the pain. It is important to rediscover the things that really make you who you are as an individual before dating again. This will make you more confident and less likely to get insecure about your self.
You know what you want to see in your future
We are all familiar with the question, “how do you see yourself five years from now?” Before you start dating again, visualize what you want to see on your next relationship. Think of the reasons why it did not work out in your previous relationships. Think of the personality that you are more comfortable with to avoid getting stuck on the same relationship quagmire. If you do not know what you are looking for how will you know when you have found it?
You have the time and heart to try again
Time, attention, and courage are the last things you need in your checklist to have to finally say that you are ready to enter the pit of dating again. You need to allot time to the other because great amount of time is needed to get to know him. You need to have the courage to bring down the defenses and be prepared for the possibility that you might get hurt again.
But then again, these are just guidelines. Only you can know when you are really ready to start dating again. Just remember that you should be ready for the setbacks that might come with it.