Cory’s 80th birthday: Children miss mom a lot

MANILA, Philippines - Corazon “Cory” Aquino, the Philippines’ first woman President and the only Filipino to be named “Woman of the Year” by Time magazine, would have been 80 years old today.

Wife to opposition leader and people’s hero the late Sen. Benigno “Ninoy” Aquino Jr. and mother of President Benigno S. Aquino III, the convent-bred mother of five was also her own person. Revered as an icon of democracy and the moral leader of the 1986 EDSA People Power Revolution, Mrs. Aquino led the country during its tumultuous transition from a dictatorship to democracy and stepped down from power with grace and dignity when her term was over.

“I miss most my mother’s constancy as a source of unconditional love,” President Aquino once said. “I miss her as a leader who (was) such in the truest sense of the word.”

It was to him, her only son, that Mrs. Aquino relayed her final wish: to go home.

“I remember the last time Mom said ‘Uwi na ako’ (I want to go home),” Pinky Abellada, the second child of the Aquinos, recalled yesterday. “She asked me to call Noy, who was in the anteroom of her hospital suite. So I called him and when he entered, Mom looked at him and said, ‘Noy, uwi mo na ako’.”

Her brother, then a senator, calmly told their mother that he had to fix the billing and arrange for an ambulance first. He was stalling, because the doctors said it was not advisable to bring Mrs. Aquino home at the time.

“And she accepted that and she closed her eyes. She never asked to be brought home again,” Abellada said.

It was July 20, 10 days before Mrs. Aquino succumbed to colon cancer after a valiant 18-month battle.

If Mrs. Aquino were alive today, she would “definitely” mark her 80th birthday with a Mass first thing in the morning celebrated by her spiritual adviser Fr. Catalino Arevalo SJ in the Convent of the Pink Sisters in Quezon City, says Abellada.

Her mother would have also celebrated her 80th birthday by hosting lunch for her closest friends, the way she did on her 75th birthday, her last “milestone” birthday. She would have capped the day with a quiet dinner with the family in her Times Street home, where she and Ninoy raised their five children.

Today, Mrs. Aquino’s five children will cherish her memory privately. Her only son President Aquino is attending the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland.

A wreath will be laid at her monument in Manila, built in her honor by Manila Mayor Alfredo Lim. Former members of her Cabinet will gather at her grave site at the Manila Memorial Park for a Mass at 11 a.m. today.

Mrs. Aquino was a also whiz in the kitchen and doting lola who spent Sunday afternoons playing Monopoly and dice with her grandchildren as they snacked on grilled cheese sandwiches she prepared herself.

“I miss her so much. I want to kiss her again,” eldest daughter Ballsy Cruz, who was also Mrs. Aquino’s private secretary during her presidency, once said in an interview. “When I’m on the plane, on a trip, when I’m alone in my room, in the office. But I guess what I miss most is our calling each other everyday and our conversations.”

“And I’m so grateful to her for having been my mom. Because with my dad many times, I talk about him as a hero because I think more than being my dad, he’s more of a hero to me because I just felt he could do anything. His courage, bravery, love of country. I remember my dad more on what he was as a Filipino more than as a father. But my mom was really mom. Her being President, her being ‘Ina ng Bayan,’ was just secondary,” Cruz added.

Abellada, for her part, shared that on “tough” days, she misses her mom’s “full support.”

“I miss her sound advice, her reassuring words. On regular days, I miss sharing stories about family and friends and laughing with her on special days. I miss her loving and kind acts. At Christmas, she would send a card and write to each and every sister of the Carmelites and Pink Sisters and even ask a sister to pray for one of us. When I visit their convents, the sister assigned to me and my little family comes to me to tell me they have been praying for us.”

Viel Dee, Mrs. Aquino’s fourth child, said in a past interview that what she missed most about her mother was: “Top of mind, Mom’s spaghetti with meatballs is still the best and we’ll forever miss that!”

“But more personally, I miss her involvement in bringing up our kids. Mom made sure that each of her grandchildren knew that they were special to her. Whenever she could, she would attend important events in their lives like their First Communion, graduation, a basketball game or even a simple school program. When they got sick, I would consult her first, even before consulting a doctor!” Dee added.

Cory was also a prayerful woman with unquestioning faith in God and a devotion to the Virgin Mary. The President’s youngest sister Kris said that whenever her sons Joshua and James Jr. see her praying the rosary, they say, “Mama is praying like Lola.”

Kris recalled that whenever Joshua sings “Where is Love” with his aunt Ballsy, the family poignantly remembers “Mom patiently singing so many songs with Josh.”

During Mrs. Aquino’s last birthday in 2009, the family and a few close friends heard Mass celebrated by Fr. Arevalo in a small chapel in Makati, after which the small group had lunch in Rockwell prepared by chef Jessie Sincioco.

“In fact she kept saying, I have outlived dad for more than 25 years,” Ballsy said. “And then people were saying those who are nearing death are torn because the family here say, ‘Don’t, don’t, don’t leave us.’ Those who went before us are telling the person, ‘let’s go, let’s go’.”

After Cory died on Aug. 1, 2009, her children went through her things, hoping they would find letters with her personal instructions to them. Filipinos call this “bilin.” Their father Ninoy, before his death, had written them all letters. But they found no such letters from their mother.

Millions believe Corazon Aquino’s life was her legacy, and that she no longer had to put her instructions down on paper.

On one of her last birthdays, Mrs. Aquino told The STAR, “I believe that while we’re in this world, we still have to do whatever we can to make life better, not only for ourselves but for others – especially those who have been disadvantaged in life. And so for the rest of my good years, I don’t say all my years because I don’t know how many good years I have left, I’d really like to devote time to micro-finance.”

In 2010, Mrs. Aquino was again honored by Time magazine as one of the 25 most powerful women of the past century.

Time hailed Mrs. Aquino, along with the late Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi, Israeli Prime Minister Golda Meir, the late Mother Teresa and media personality Oprah Winfrey.