‘Don’t judge me, I’m not a book’

Joseph Estrada’s numerous "Eraptions" endeared him to the masses and helped propel him to the presidency.

Now model and beauty queen Melanie Marquez plans to go public with her inimitable, ungrammatical "Melanisms."

Marquez, the 1979 Miss International, will soon publish a book of her English faux pas over the years, titled "Don’t Judge Me, I’m Not A Book."

She credits STAR entertainment editor and television show host Ricky Lo with getting her started on the book project: "Ricky Lo told me to write the book, telling me ‘Melanie, it will be fun’."

She throws back her head and laughs as she tacks this on: "Of course, my husband didn’t want it." She is married to an American lawyer named Adam Lawyer. "Yes, Lawyer as in attorney and attorney as in lawyer," she says of her husband.

Putting down in black and white the many memorable foibles she has committed in her lifelong wrestling match with the English language is all part of getting a positive message across, Marquez said.

"The intention here is to tell people that, even if you are not good in English, it does not mean that you can’t be successful," she said earnestly.

Despite her improbable imbroglios with English, this lass from Pampanga has managed to become a top flight international model, win beauty pageants and raise six children and she wants to share the secret to her success: A good sense of humor.

"Even if you are not good at English, you should improve yourself, ’wag kang pikon (don’t be easily angered), have no pretensions, be sincere," Marquez added — this being the subtext of her book, which makes fun of its author, no less.

Marquez also contests comparisons between her version of English and the versions of former President Joseph Estrada — who is also famous for his "Eraptions" — and her former partner, Sen. Lito Lapid, who chairs the Senate sports committee.

"There is no comparison between my English and their English," she said with a quick burst of laughter. "Mas magaling ako mag-Ingles sa kanila (I am better at English than they are). Both of them."

She has led an interesting life, loved and been hurt, been laughed at and seen a lot of downs as well as ups in her life — including earlier medical woes over an enlarged heart, a condition which has since improved.

Marquez is resilient and ready to rock and roll by reinventing herself and her career path "kasi kailangan kong rumaket at magpayaman (because I have to find rackets and get rich)," she says, tongue in cheek.

"I also want to be a stand-up comic doing improvisational theater," she added, saying her dream venue would be "the Music Museum. I want to be on stage entertaining people, making them laugh."

Becoming a stand-up improvisational comic, she said, "is my illusion talaga (really). I want to sing, act onstage, do something eklat (crazy) — something not scripted."

Her unwitting sense of the comic has produced such gems as "why should I have a calling card? I am not a call girl," which she said when she began modeling at 13 and "I am contented with my long-legged," in a beauty contest where Marquez was asked if she would exchange legs with a model who had her legs insured.

The title of her book, which she hopes to have out in bookstores in January, was taken from a "Melanism" she first uttered on the GMA-7 show "Debate:" "Don’t judge my brother! He’s not a book."

Her success may very well be rooted in the fact that she has the resilience provided by a healthy sense of humor. "I believe in positive thinking," Marquez said, "and making people laugh is my way of thanking everybody."

During the interview, Marquez also put in a plug for an activity of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, of which she is part.

"There will be a cutting ribbon today for our Family History Fair at the fourth level of Market! Market!" she said seriously. "The fair will be on until Sept. 30."

For those who want to meet her, Marquez added that she will be there on Wednesday to help "train people to do genealogy, to make their family tree."

Marquez also said she and her husband are planning to have a baby, her seventh, although she added that she is "praying if it is good for me — not that I am pregnant yet." — Alma Anonas-Carpio