Help yourself first, leaders

“In the unlikely event of a water ditching,” says the flight attendant, “the oxygen masks shall automatically drop, and if you’re with your children, make sure you strap the oxygen mask on yourself first…before you do your child.”

Have you ever taken the time to think about this? Isn’t it that we’ve been told to serve others first and then serve ourselves last?

Here’s a lesson we can all learn.

What is the best way for us to help others?

Here’s an article from Jim Rohn entitled: “The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others.”

Jim says:

“I’m often asked, ‘How can I best help my children, spouse, family member, staff member, friend, etc. improve/change?’ In fact, that might be the most frequently asked question I receive: ‘How can I help change someone else?’

My answer often comes as a surprise, and here it is. The key to helping others is to help yourself first. In other words, the best contribution I can make to someone else is my own personal development. If I become 10 times wiser, 10 times stronger, think of what that will do for my adventure as a father... as a grandfather... as a business colleague.

The best gift I can give to you is my ongoing personal development. Getting better, getting stronger, becoming wiser. I think parents should pick this valuable philosophy up. If the parents are okay, the kids have an excellent chance of being okay. Work on your personal development as parents; that’s the best gift you can give to your children.

If you have ever ridden in an airplane, you might have noticed the oxygen compartment above every seat. There are explicit instructions: ‘In case of an emergency, first secure your own oxygen mask, and then if you have children with you, then secure their masks.’ Take care of yourself first...then assist your children. It would be valuable if we use that same philosophy throughout our whole parental life.

If I learn to create happiness for myself, my children now have an excellent chance to be happy. If I create a unique lifestyle for myself and my spouse, that will be a great example to serve my children.

Self-development enables you to serve and be more valuable to those around you: your child, your business, your colleague, your community, and your church.

That’s why I teach development skills. If you keep refining all the parts of your character, yourself, your health, etc., to become an attractive person in the marketplace – you’ll attract opportunity. Opportunity will then begin to seek you out. Your reputation will begin to precede you, and people will want to do business with you. All of that possibility is created by working on the philosophy that success is something you attract by continually working on your own personal development.”

End of article.

So, is this being selfish? Is this pride? Is this self-serving? I don’t think so.

Because it is easy for us to say that we want to serve others, but we are too lazy to improve ourselves, and then rather than serving others, we end up being served by others, and that’s a tragedy.

Leaders must prioritize their personal growth and improvement before effectively guiding others. Just as you can’t pour from an empty cup, a leader who invests in their own development – whether through continuous learning, self-reflection, or skill-building – gains the wisdom, strength, and clarity needed to inspire and elevate those around them. By serving themselves first, leaders cultivate the resilience and insight necessary to lead with authenticity and impact, ultimately fostering a culture of growth and excellence within their teams.

Help others improve by first improving ourselves.

Have you ever wondered why the Word of God says that we are to be the light of the world and the salt of the earth? Be excellent so that the world will see us and glorify God, who is in heaven.

Always remember this:

If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning. 1

(Francis Kong’s “Inspiring Excellence” podcast is now available on Spotify, Apple, Google, or other podcast streaming platforms).

Catherine Aird