E-vites etiquette

I noticed that e-mail is not as popular in this country as in the US. I very recently hosted a dinner party and sent out e-vites. Less than half of my invitees responded. I was so discouraged that I told a friend about it. She told me to call them up personally, and most of them told me that they don’t open their e-mail regularly. Some of them didn’t even have e-mail addresses. So it’s still the old-fashioned method of invitation by telephone or mail. Such a waste of time for busy people like me! And another thing, my co-worker had the audacity to scan through my e-mail while I was in the ladies room and started to spread a nasty rumor about my lover’s quarrel with my boyfriend which only she could have gotten from my e-mail. Should I confront her about it? I am not sure she did it, only suspicious that she did. Aren’t there rules on cyber-etiquette? – E-Victim

Calling and/or sending someone an invitation through the mail is still the preferred approach. It is not being old-fashioned, just proper. Organizing a party takes some effort and time, and one should take time out in the initial process of sending out invitations. If you send it by e-mail, be sure to follow up with a phone call. Vital time can be lost if the message is not read and the occasion is close at hand. And your party could be ill-attended because most of the invited guests did not open their e-mail.

As for e-mail privacy, treat e-mail like an open note you might leave on a co-worker’s desk. If you are sending and receiving personal messages at the office, remember that there is no iron clad guarantee of privacy. Incidents of employees losing their jobs because of offensive or controversial e-mail content, friendships that are lost because of e-mail exchanges, and private information unnecessarily discovered are all precautions to be considered. There are stories of romantic affairs being discovered by the wrong person – let’s just say that you want to avoid all such scenarios happening to you. It is best you send your personal e-mails from your own home computer and not from your office. Don’t confront your officemate because you are not sure she is the source of gossip. Close your computer if you will be gone for a while to make sure nobody reads your private correspondence. Better still, avoid private correspondence in your office e-mail.

* * * Of Pains And Needles

I have shooting pains on my right arm and I have gone to a chiropractor who has not alleviated my pain. It’s giving me sleepless nights. Someone suggested acupuncture but I want to know more about it. Can you enlighten me? – Alicia

Of all the Chinese treatments, acupuncture has been the focus of most research in the West. It has been tested – with mixed results – for conditions ranging from asthma to ringing of the ears. So far, the strongest evidence shows that it relieves pain and nausea. Numerous lines of research show that it boosts levels of the body’s own opiates, called endorphins. This would help explain its effect on pain. It also helps to increase the brain chemical serotonin, which confers a sense of well-being. But what puzzles Western doctors is why the 2,000 acupuncture points on the so-called meridians are special because they don’t correlate to any anatomical structure, such as the nervous system. But Dr. Helene Langevin from the University of Vermont might have the answer. Her cutting-edge research shows that the acupuncture points tend to correspond to areas where connective tissues are thickest. "Connective tissue forms a web that runs continuously through the body," she says. This tissue also contains many nerve endings which may explain why a needle in the right hand would affect the left shoulder. This is the latest development on the science of acupuncture. So why not try it, it could alleviate your pain after a series of treatments.

* * * The Proper Way To Address Diplomats

I am new in my job as secretary. My boss recently expressed his desire to host a dinner and invite some diplomats. What is the proper way of addressing an Ambassador, a Consul General, and others in the diplomatic circle? – Imelda

Just as a Head of State is addressed as "His/Her Excellency," so is an Ambassador because he is the representative of the Head of State (in our case, President) to that country. So your invitation should read:

His Excellency John Smith

Ambassador of the United States of America

The most formal way of addressing the Ambassador of any country is:

His Excellency

The Ambassador of the United States of America

However, this form is used only for the most formal exchange of communications at the highest diplomatic levels between two governments, and is quite impersonal. So for your purposes, which is a private dinner party, the first form would be most appropriate.

A Consul General is addressed simply as:

Mr. Carlos Hernandez

Consul General of Mexico

All other ranks are addressed similar to the Consul General, as above:

Mr. Charles Smith

First Secretary

Embassy of the United States of America

Finally, depending on the traditions and customs of each country, it may be courteous, but not necessarily technically correct in diplomatic parlance, to address the Consul General as "Honorable," especially if he is also the Chief of Mission of the particular Consulate General, as in the various large Philippine Consulates General in the US, such as those in Los Angeles and New York. These missions are almost autonomous, and these Consuls General most likely have the internal rank of Chief of Mission or Ambassador within their own Department of Foreign Affairs.

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For your questions write to: Mayenne Carmona, StarGate Media Inc., 6th floor, Jaka Bldg.,Ayala Ave., Makati City.