Growing out (and outgrowing) a pixie cut

I have come to accept the fact that my once- pixie cut has reached unruly lengths of butch — a predicament that presents itself daily and can only be addressed with copious amounts of Toni & Guy Androgynous Hold Texturizing Glue. After exactly a year of sporting a super short ‘do I’ve decided to let it grow out. It’s not going to be easy; it’s a path that’s going to be full of temptation. During colder months, I know I’ll be fine, but come summer –– OMG –– I can only imagine what sort of havoc the humidity will do to what by then will be a shaggy apple cut.

In a dangerous mix of curiosity and desperation, I went to laurenconrad.com. Now before you judge me for enduring all that pink (her blog banner is a pink ribbon, her background is a pale rose, her links are a deep magenta), I did learn some things from Team LC. It’s a relatively well-known fact that biotin expedites the healthy growth of not just hair, but nails as well. Deficiency in biotin is characterized by thinning hair and lackluster color. According to Team LC, taking vitamins that contain biotin, iron and folic acid will promote healthy hair growth. This course of action, however, is up for discussion with my doctor. Meanwhile, eggs, nuts, dairy, soybeans, vegetables, fruits and fish –– basically everything that is not Pringles –– are safe and reliable sources of the vitamin.

Other sites weren’t much help: they told me things I didn’t want to hear, like “hair grows a quarter of an inch a month” and “terminal length.” Many of them echoed each other, stating that only keeping hair healthy (one even suggesting that hair be treated like “the most delicate lace”) is the key. That and a lot of patience –– I wonder if Axl Rose was contemplating getting a haircut when he wrote: “Sometimes I get so tense, but I can’t speed up the time.”

The truth is, there’s just no way of significantly making hair grow faster. Not even subscribing to age-old myths like trimming the ends to speed up growth (which makes no kind of sense because hair grows from the roots), or brushing hair 100 times before going to bed (as recommended by a shampoo commercial, also by a horror movie) will compel my locks to go all Tangled on me. All there is to do in the meantime, fellow manic pixie dreaming-of-long-hair girls, is to live through that mop and own it.

I’ve researched the hair-volution of Michelle Williams, whose picture I showed my hairstylist when I first had it chopped. She’s gone through countless hairstyles — the über pixie, the Beatle crop, the shaggy crop, the long pixie, almost all of them, except The Javier Bardem (in No Country for Old Men). She’s been my hair peg until recently, when I’ve lost control of my locks and therefore switched to Team Coco (Rocha, that is) who just likes to either brush her bangs up or let them fall on her face — it just seems easier. Listed here are the top hair products in my book for different pixie hair concerns and pegs, because enduring that awkward stage is not an option.

The Coco Rocha

A modern “brush up,” tight and neat on the sides with height and volume on the top and a slight softness toward the end of the bangs; also known as The Tilda

Mane characteristics: Extra hold and lots of shine

What to use: Toni & Guy Styling Pomade or Bench Fix Professional Hairlastic

Get the look: After showering, blow- dry hair on the nape and back of the head, keep the sides and top wet. Using your fingers, apply wax through one side of your head (the side where your hair parts) like you’re Joseph Gordon-Levitt at a photo shoot for GQ. Press that side flat. Still using your fingers, brush wax through bangs in an upward motion. Comb strands in place. Or just let your bangs fall on your face, whatever.

The Olivia Thirlby

Like a little boy’s bed head –– fine (not chunky) and neat, with volume and a little movement

Mane characteristics: Matte and stays in place

What to use: Schwarzkopf Osis+ Mess Up Texture Matte Gum

Get the look: Dry hair thoroughly and blow-dry bangs straight down. Use a flat brush with fine bristles for a super-straight finish. Take a dollop of the matte gum and rub palms together, evenly distributing the product on your hands. Press your product-laden fingertips onto the sides of your head (where Frankenstein’s monster would have its bolts) and rub in a circular motion — this prevents you from looking like a complete mushroom head. Then, using your palms, lightly comb hair from your cowlick down to the front. Let a few strands stick out for a piece-y look.

The Carey Mulligan

A super-soft, ultra-feminine look that goes really well with dimples and attracts stuntman neighbors with a dark side, or billionaire stalkers with a past

Mane characteristics: Shiny, wispy and baby soft

What to use: L’Oreal Mythic Oil

Get the look: Blow-dry or air-dry hair while running your fingers through it for softness and natural waves. Put one pump of the product on your hand and rub palms together for heat, and also so you don’t end up looking like you didn’t actually wash your hair. Apply product on your hair like you’re trying to mess it up –– really bad. Don’t forget the back of your head and the sides. Brush hair back in place.

The Mia Wasikowska

A piece-y, super- stylish cut that can get a little unfeminine but also majorly cool

Mane characteristics: Extra hold, lots of texture, medium shine

What to use: Toni & Guy Creative Androgynous Hold Texturizing Glue

Get the look: Once hair is dry, squeeze a pea-size amount into your fingertips at a time and style piece by piece, avoiding depositing too much product at the roots. This takes a little time, and the style can end up looking different every day, but when in doubt, pull a chunk up (lightly) and twist.