What defines us? Experience. Who helps shape us? Our parents, our teachers, our peers.
I knew I would become a writer because of a case of simple math: I sucked at math. Subtract every college course that involved numbers and I was left with words. So, I majored in something innocuous at a liberal arts college.
Few people are as lucky as I was. I found a job by accident, discovered through a school project that was published. (It’s a little magazine that makes me cringe now that I think of my over-eager, over-earnest efforts. My mom has boxes of blackmail material in the form of those old magazines somewhere in the bodega.)
When I moved to this paper, as a lowly editorial assistant at YStyle under Celine Lopez, who would later become one of my closest friends, I was practically a petrified hatchling: clueless, prone to error and easily flustered.
Under the tutelage of my boss Millet Mananquil, the pioneer who helms this entire Lifestyle section, I learned to grow from my mistakes, to be faster, smarter, more concise.
The collaborative atmosphere at
YStyle fostered camaraderie and a sense of “Let’s do this shoot in the streets of Malate with no permit or changing room” kind of attitude.
What I’m trying to say is that I am grateful to these two women for fostering me and being kind to me. That’s saying a lot when it comes to the fashion business.
I am grateful for their generosity of spirit.
In that same spirit, here’s a list of things that make me thankful (you’re welcome):
DEATH POEMS
“If you had one day to live, what would you do?”
This wasn’t a rhetorical question.
I was having dinner with my friend Frank Hoefsmit, a photographer who has been published numerous times in this section.
Frank, fresh from a six-week trip in Europe, was telling me about his yoga workshop, an intense weeklong retreat that involved fervent reflection and meditation as well as exercises like writing death poems, which encourages the writer to reflect on the life he’s lived.
If it all sounds very New Age, that’s because it is.
Frank sheepishly shared the formula for the death poem which follows this format: “It doesn’t have to be beautiful. First line can be anything. Second should contain the current season. Third line may refer to elements of the season. Fourth and final line should have reference to your age.”
It’s a fun exercise and almost always hilariously pretentious.
MINDY KALING’S BLOG
Originally Things That I’ve Bought That I’ve Loved, a blog essentially consisting of things Kaling purchased and loved (See how concise that was? My boss must be proud), the star of The Mindy Project converted it to a more general theme, now known as The Concerns of Mindy Kaling (theconcernsofmindykaling.com). Though she talks about other things, she mainly spends most of her time talking about fashion and shopping.
Some recent highlights:
On her style: “My ideal style of dressing is ’80s aerobics coach meets Maasai tribeswoman.”
On Jonathan Adler: “I love Jonathan Adler. It’s cheeky and colorful and chic, and the furniture equivalent of having a great gossipy conversation with my gay best friend.”
On chandeliers: “I freaking love chandeliers. They’re so dramatic and feminine, and buying one is like looking for a dope necklace for your ceiling.”
On why she loves and hates the ’70s: “I would have hated living in the 1970s for many reasons (rampant serial murderers, no real chick flicks, I hate disco, no Twitter, Bradley Cooper was only a toddler) but I do thank the ’70s and Halston for the jumpsuit.”
MINDY KALING’S BOOK
Are you sensing a theme here? In her seminal tome Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), Kaling invites the reader to journey through her life as the child of industrious first-generation immigrants, the timid chubby kid navigating the perilous waters of junior high to her advance from writer on The Office to showrunner and star of The Mindy Project. Kaling has plenty of earnest advice. “Don’t peak in high school” is a chapter devoted to the perks of being a “respectful and hardworking wallflower.” But she is funniest when talking about Hollywood — “my good friend who is also a little embarrassing.”
In a chapter entitled “Somewhere in Hollywood Someone Is Pitching This Movie,” she recalls an instance when a movie exec invited her to pitch concepts. She came armed with charming rom-com ideas only to be informed that they were interested in more nostalgic material. Said exec: “We’re really trying to focus on movies about board games.”
Here, Kaling lists her suggestions:
Bananagrams 3D
The untitled Liam Neeson “You Took My Female Relative Project”
GRACE CODDINGTON’S MEMOIRS
The just-debuted Grace: A Memoir follows the story of the breakout star of The September Issue, chronicling her start as a model to her post as the soul of American Vogue (that should be her official title at least). In her book, Coddington recounts juicy stories from her youth, including hanging out with David Bailey and leaving her boyfriend after she discovers he was cheating on her with Catherine Deneuve’s sister.
If there‘s an award for really cute young American designer, it would probably go to Prabal, who mastered the often-alienating pouty look with impunity. If you seek a peek at the glamorous New York social whirl, hot dudes and innovative design, follow @prabalgurung now.
ROOKIE YEARBOOK ONE
Not to get all teen issue-y on you, but growing up surrounded by vapid inanities like YM and, yes I’ll say it, Seventeen made teen magazine reading boring. Flipping through Vogue, pinning photos of Kate Moss and Trish Goff (so ’90s, I know) to my wall didn’t exactly capture my teen zeitgeist. In between inhaling Eugenides’ debut The Virgin Suicides and listening to top 40 hits on my radio (!!!), this was pre-Internet mind you, I once spent a long, interminable summer suffering from chicken pox, quarantined in my stuffy, TV-free bedroom. (My mother was merciless and worried I would infect my younger siblings. The helper would leave a tray of food by my door, then scamper away before I could contaminate her with my disease. “This is what jail feels like,” I would say despondently to no one. I would later watch Shawshank Redemption and relate to the Morgan Freeman character.)
So when I discovered Sassy, the smart seminal indie-ethos monthly, it was like finding that cool friend who was above all the bullshit.
Rookie Mag is like Sassy’s younger, really nostalgic sister. Flipping through its end-of-year print issue was like returning to my youth, when all that concerned me was managing a crew of hormonal, back-biting friends and surviving school.
The accessories designer pens an advice column on Style.com called “Love & Waris” that often culls the witticisms of Descartes and Nietzsche. Clever and charming, his sage answers often read like RX for the soul.
A sampling of his advice:
“Birthday presents aren’t for things you need — that’s what a Tuesday, or perhaps even a Thursday is for. I would like things I don’t need.”
“Start saying inappropriate things and see if you can get the bores to walk away first. Your level of impropriety will likely be different than mine, so I’ll leave the specific content to you. This should keep you entertained for a bit.”
“Say you feel like dancing and walk away with a shimmy. This one works especially well when there’s no music.”
HETEXTED.COM
Is there anything more amusing than other people’s ridiculous, head-scratching foibles? On HeTexted.com, the website attempts to decode the multiplicity of meanings in a lone smiley face text from that dude you met at that party. Clueless girls send screencapped conversations from their iPhone and ask readers to weigh in. Options include: he’s into you, he’s not into you and verdict’s still out.
If you’re into schadenfreude or just enjoy a giggle or two over sadly-mispelled texts, then this site offers at least two hours of mindless joy.
OMBRE HAIR IS STILL COOL
I know this because I have ombre hair. It could also mean that I haven’t had time to color my hair for so long that my roots are now older than my youngest nephew.