What’s your fashion phobia?

MANILA, Philippines - The theme is that I have nothing,” wrote Murakami in Norwegian Wood. Halloween is fast-approaching and considering how big the pseudo-holiday has become (hello, zombie runs, pets as ghouls, how-to-look-like-a-vampire makeup tutorials on YouTube, and –– let’s not leave this one out –– Magandang Gabi Bayan’s undas edition), we at YStyle deemed it fit to dedicate an issue to all things terrifying, out-of-this-world, and bat sh*t crazy. The theme is Halloween, and I have to admit I was tempted to consult my humble stash of slasher films to write stories like “10 Most Fashionable Fatalities,” or do a grindhouse beauty spread. But who would care? A true-to-life story –– like a mortifying moment involving one’s skirt getting caught in one’s undies –– can be more scarring than a brush with the paranormal. If at first I had nothing, suddenly my head spun with fashion faux pas and wardrobe-malfunctions-from-hell, and of course, visions of clothes that I would not dare wear even if a hoard of zombie cats chased me into them. Then a Halloween party idea came up: Wear-Your-Phobia Night.

With Fashion Week ongoing, we’re bound to run into a few sartorial ghosts from seasons past along with some new trends that will have us running faster than marathoners trying to beat the undead to Manhattan Bridge (because New York is always the first place to get “infected”). With so many shows and designers, someone’s sure to come up with things we’d want to wear and things we want to wear for Halloween. Since the past fashion weeks in Europe have shown us pretty amazing and not at all costume-y numbers, we can look to other fashion moments for inspiration, like the dreaded meat dress that’s been traveling the world for two fashion cycles now. (In rap group Die Antwoord’s most recent video, the dress was mauled by a lion in South Africa.) It’s the Jason Voorhees of dresses: It. Just. Won’t. Die. Imagine it on the runway, the scene would be something out of a Yayoi Kusama nightmare: red dots all over the floor –– but they won’t be vinyl stickers. Hello, Clarice! And what about a look that’s been prevalent in fashion ads of late: hairy man-limbs peeking out of dresses. I’m all for dudes wearing skirts (whatever makes your heart sing), but for the love of Marc, please wax. All these fascinating but unwearable displays of avant-garde fashion would make for great costumes. We wouldn’t be caught dead in them when it’s not Halloween, but that’s what makes them fun.

So what scares you, fashion-wise? We all have fashion phobias –– things we would never wear because we think we won’t look good in them (jumpsuits, wide-leg floor-skimming trousers, boxy blazers), or things we’re afraid to even come within inches of (blinding neons, spikes, vertical stripes, shaved heads). As with any phobia, my own fashion fears are irrational, or so I’d like to think. For the longest time, I’ve lived in denim shirts, waxed jeans in all colors and boots or sneakers, but in my closet you’ll find a cropped leather bustier, oxblood shorts, a black pencil skirt (also leather) and a wool maxi cover-up that looks something like a wilted black dahlia. You may be able to tell by now where my soul stands in the wardrobe department. Think Evan Rachel Wood circa Marilyn Manson, or for lack of a better and more age-appropriate style icon, Taylor Momsen. Shudder. My fashion phobia is wearing these things and getting ridiculed for having the nerve to. I can already hear my friends saying, “Akala ko ba nakakapayat ang black?” and “May binabagayan ang leather.” So I keep it safe by treading the line of androgyny, channeling the style of Agyness Deyn but sometimes ending up looking like a size six Brian Molko (I wish) or, I’ve been told, Vice Ganda. Maybe I’ll wear them for Halloween.

“People wearing super-high heels who can't walk with them –– it scares me that they might fall.” — Charo Ronquillo, model