Earning the bronze medal in tanning

Just like some highlight-happy people will never really come to remember their original hair color, I’m the chick who doesn’t remember her original skin color.

It’s hard to tell when the dark side came. Perhaps it was an atavistic reaction to the intolerant skin- whitening campaigns that was plaguing our nation — if one’s pallor remains porcelain, then she must come from a good family and spent time under a roof knitting tablecloths.

For as long as I remember I was a big bronzer fan. I wanted that bad-ass farmer glow. My first real lipstick was CoverGirl’s Barely Bronze. It was a hint of things to come.

The first adult magazine I ever bought was Allure. It was the summer of 1995 and there I was staring at Nikki Taylor’s golden glow on its August issue. There and then, I decided I would be a morena.

It’s hard to believe (even for me), but I am actually a yellow mestiza. The color of a week-old brazo de mercedes. It was an awkward flux between the aristocratic achromasia and pedantic immigrant lemon tones. I couldn’t afford the sunscreen that was being posted on Allure, so I made do with a mix that my bohemian aunt used. It’s a mix of baby oil and beer and I therefore baked myself. I wore a T-shirt and shorts. I was not a Nabokov cherub. More like a tomboy looking for a way out. All I remember was that it was always uncomfortable but coming indoors with ruddy cheeks and a Nikki Taylor glow made all that roasting worth it. I also learned to drink a lot of water, after having dizzy spells.

Self-tanners were still undercover and those that claimed to dye the skin to a toasty brown stank and left a carrot-colored tint dangling. I finally started buying SPF-addled oil. I liked Banana Boat because it smelled like dessert. It also attracted every bug known to any insect pedagogue.

My mother hated this. She tried to cover my tan with a translucent pink powder that was very much in vogue at that time. I stayed true to myself. When I got my Christmas money, I bought myself a compact of Guerlain Terracotta bronzer. Tanorexia, here I come. No pink powder can outdo my farmer pride! I have never been precious and living in a sun-kissed world made sense.

There is the issue of skin cancer. I was very paranoid about this and heightened my SPF level to a reassuring 25. I also looked like a banshee. I seemed to have a heavy hand when it came to applying makeup. I looked like a terracotta flowerpot.

Suddenly, having that laid-back refulgence seemed to be a lot of work. This was 1995 and since then I have learned every trick in the book to stay nicely toasted.

• When sunning yourself, use a high SPF. Yes, it will take longer to get some color but trust me, sunspots suck big time.

• I used Dr. Perricone’s High Potency Amine Complex Face Lift, Cold Plasma (which smells like dead fish but what an amazing product!) and Acyl-Glutathione. These three together took away my spots after a month!

• I’m a fan of Dr. Perricone and I promise you this is a true story, not fed by some PR machine. The No Foundation foundation with SPF 30 of Dr Perricone is an insider favorite. It adds a glow to my skin every morning. It’s the absolute best.

• Don’t be a loser and buy both sunless tanners formulated for face and body. Both formulas are more or less the same. I use the face tube when I’m traveling. The face may be a little bit less greasy but the difference is not to be ignored.

• If you get zits, the best one is Clinique Self-Sun. It’s easy on the pores and it gives an instant tan. Again they come in both face and body formulas. I use the tube for body for both.

• Always exfoliate before doing the initial hit of self-tanner. Use a non-oily scrub or a loofah. For legs, nothing beats a fresh shave to take out all dead skin cells. This will make the self tanner last. Apply another coat an hour later. Then apply every other day. This is when it becomes a commitment.

• I use lotion for my body, but what about the hands and feet? I wash my hands especially around the nail area fastidiously. Then I give it a quick spray of spray tanner. I like lotion because it moisturizes the skin making the color stay in longer. Sprays can seem like an easy option but I have found that its staying power is close to nil.

• Now on the cosmetic front, the way to not look like a flowerpot is to use some tinted moisturizer with some SPF. Blot your face after applying to get the extra product that might make your face greasy after a few hours. Lightly brush in some warmed translucent powder with a super soft powder brush (MAC, Shu Uemura and Laura Mercier have both products and are superior on my list). Make sure the powder is free from any shimmer. Brush on powder bronzer on the areas where the sun will naturally hit the face such as the bridge of the nose, apples of the cheeks, a bit of the chin and the temples. Then use a pink or coral blush on the cheeks. I’m a fan of powders as opposed to gels or creams. It gives you more control on the color and it’s great for the city.

• For the beach, use a sunscreen made for the face. This is when you actually listen to what the tube says. It can be your city sunscreen, then some concealer (I love Touche Eclat by Yves Saint Lauren) and a lip and cheek tint. I love Body Shop’s tint, which lasts forever and doesn’t slide off the face. Nars Multiple is great for evenings to give some more glow. Take it easy though, as there’s a thin line between fabulous and stripper in this category.

• Always moisturize your skin. It will take in the color of your tanner more evenly.

• If you can get Piz Buin bronzers, which are only available in Europe, get a lot! It’s inexpensive and it colors you like a brownie.

• I am wary of airbrushed tans. They can go from hero to zero in no time. Over-the-counter self-tanners are now tweaked to perfection. For those who want to take it easy, try moisturizers with a hint of self-tanning agent (Jergens makes the best!). You will have total control of that glow.

• Never go on a tanning bed. Been there, been that.