7 ways to survive the Papal Visit
MANILA, Philippines - We’re sure you don’t need telling — the traffic, the Internet, and television say it all: the Catholic Church’s head honcho (on earth, at least) Pope Francis is in town. Whether you’d wish to see him or not, his visit has probably managed to affect your day in great and small ways. How do you deal with the madness, you might ask? Well, take notes, brethren. You might just be the blessed few to survive the Papal visit like a pro.
1. Leave your house three hours early
If you’re set to meet your friends at 5 p.m. for merienda at Hole in the Wall, make sure that you’re out of the house right after lunch. You think you’re gonna make it in your usual 45 minutes? Take a minute to laugh at that idea and think again.
2. Avoid EDSA at all costs
With so many road closures and diversions going on, you better drive away from the nightmare that is EDSA right now. Waze the hell out of that gridlock and take the side streets instead. You might even stumble upon a cool and unpopulated place to hang out in, like a café or a cave.
3. Ditto FOR social media
Pope Francis’ best time to go on a Twitter/Instagram diet — even if you filter the #PopeFrancisPH hashtag, social media is now full of lovers and haters throughout the five-day visit. Do you really wanna listen to someone rag about the same Papal traffic you’re in?
4. Head to the grocery ASAP
While Pope Francis’ visit is nothing like a zombie apocalypse, it’s wise to head to SM Hypermarket and prepare yourself. It’s the most tita thing you can do, but zipping to the nearby mall for a quick bite will be the worst idea in the world, because everyone’s going to do the same thing.
5. Sing Jamie Rivera’s ‘We are all God’s Children’ in traffic
When you find yourself unable to avoid the road madness, might as well go even deeper. We’re not sure if our favorite church lady Jamie R’s new ballad can be found on the Vatican’s Spotify account (um, do they even have one?) but everyone’s already singing it anyway. So chill and just sing along.
6. Pray for the sinners
With everyone so busy trying to see the Pope, who else will?
7. Stay at home
There’s no place like home, and given all the craziness surrounding the Pope right now, he might just agree. Slip into your best PJs, fire up that laptop for a Twin Peaks marathon, and get cozy. If you feel the need to repent, catch up with your homework instead. — Margarita Buenaventura
