Let’s talk about this

Nude photos, domestic violence, suggestive themes on the retail front: This week saw the online community giving their two cents’ worth on female rights.

Andaming biyaya sa mga lalake lately,” this guy said, referring to the leaked nude celebrity photos (both locally and abroad) that have been circulating the web.

I wouldn’t consider things that were stolen from women a “blessing.” I wouldn’t consider photos that had been taken in the safety of these womens’ personal spaces — but were now exposed by some creep to the World Wide Web — a blessing. Now, scum from all over were ogling them and calling them “blessings.” It’s certainly an injustice and clearly a disturbing carnality. But instead of arguing with him, I shut up.

I wasn’t in the mood to delve into the topic, more so get into a conversation with someone who would refer to such things as “blessings.” Later though, I thought about the things we could’ve talked about. Maybe I could’ve steered the conversation in the right direction. I hypothesized different scenarios.

In case you ever find yourself in a situation with a guy like that, don’t shut up. Speak your mind. And if your talking points have run thin, maybe these will help:

1. Talk about the NFL player Ray Rice, who knocked his wife unconscious in an elevator, and literally had to lug her body out as her legs dragged on the floor. The surveillance camera in the elevator showed the entire scene. They were arguing, and just as she leaned in to hit him in the face, he hit her first and she dropped on the floor, cold. And when the elevator doors opened, he dragged her  body out. A member of the staff sees an unconscious woman, and a burly man carrying her out by her shoulders, but the man prodded nicely, without much urgency. I don’t know who Ray Rice is because American football is not on my radar. But in a place where sports heroes are treated like cultural trophies, this becomes a relevant topic in how we treat our athletes, especially when their moral codes become exposed like that. At the time of the incident, his wife Janay was only his fiancée. Now they are married. You should talk about that.

2. Talk about how Emma Watson is talking about feminism. Her speech in the United Nations launched the campaign #HeforShe, which invites men to take part in fighting for gender equality. She tackles misconceptions about the term “feminism” itself. Sometimes guys wrinkle their noses at me when I say I’m a feminist. Then they roll their eyes and yawn in boredom. Emma Watson says, “apparently I am among the ranks of women whose expressions are seen as too strong, too aggressive, isolating, anti-men and unattractive. Why is the word such an uncomfortable one?” I’ve had guys say I’m too “intense” when I talk passionately about things. And “intense” is supposed to imply a negative thing, as if a girl wanting to talk about anything more serious is too “intense” for a regular drinking session. She reiterates that feminism is not equal to man hating. I love men, too! But why does it make people squirm uncomfortably? The worst part is that after this speech, 4Chan users threatened to reveal nude photos of Emma Watson. There is even a countdown on online forums as to when these photos will be revealed. So for anyone who has argued with me that women are already empowered today because we have women presidents... And Beyoncé! Hmm… think again.

3. Let’s talk about that T-shirt, the one that was being sold in SM Department Store’s boys section with a message that not so subtly suggests rape is a punchline. It is not okay, and it is not funny, and if your only arguing point about it is, “but it’s just a T-shirt,” then allow me to put my own preferred quotes on all of your clothes and let’s see if you still call it “just a T-shirt.” Collectively, we have to form a mindset towards rape. If we keep boxing it into a category where assault and violence can be a joke, we should worry. A rape case in Steubenville, Ohio in 2012 involved a 16-year-old girl who went to a party full of high school kids and got so drunk that she blacked out. She woke up the next day naked beside a guy she was texting. While she was drunk, boys carried her like a roasted pig, transported her, undressed her, photographed her unconscious, and then boasted about it on Facebook, Twitter and YouTube. She was sexually assaulted, but the case was built on statuses from kids’ social media pages, tweets, and text exchanges. The boys didn’t even see the gravity of their actions because they thought it was innocent enough to post online. If T-shirts like this are being sold to the general public, then we shouldn’t be surprised if kids today start tweeting about the girls they are assaulting as well, whatever form of assault this may be.

Maybe these talking points are a much more interesting alternative to looking at nude celebrity photos.  But that’s just a suggestion.