Seven seatmates to avoid on the first day of school

Art by SHY CABAJAR

Picking who you sit next to on the first day is just as important as preparing for your finals. Take a look around and choose carefully because your decision might make or break your school year.

MANILA, Philippines - Summer vacation has come and gone. Now, it’s time to work our academic butts off. For some of us, months of all study and no fun can be dreadful. But school life can be a bit better with a little help from our trusty seatmates.

While picking your seatmate is no NBA draft, it’s still important to choose the right one on your first day. After all, there is no turning back when the professor finally passes around the seating arrangement sheet. So if you’re not forced to sit in alphabetical order (and if you are, I am deeply sorry for your fate) and blessed with a cool professor who values democracy, here is a list of seven people you don’t want to sit next to on your first day. Well, assuming that you want to finish the semester with good grades.

1. THE GAMER

There are two types of gamers: casual gamers and extremists. Casual gamers are usually content with 2048 or Piano Tiles to pass time. Extremists, on the other hand, take out their Alienware laptops to play the latest installment of Diablo. While watching them play can be entertaining, it might not be ideal to sit beside them if you want to learn accounting. Sooner or later, they will get in trouble for playing in class and you don’t want to be involved with that.

2. THE SKIPPER

When your friends insist on sitting together, you must always choose the lesser evil. Sit beside the one who is less likely to skip class. This way, you have a buddy who will stay with you no matter how tempting a quick movie in the nearby mall sounds.  But in cases when you don’t know anyone in the class, try to sit in the middle. Skippers tend to sit nearest to the door for a quick and stealthy escape.

3. THE TEACHER’S PET

There is always that one person who volunteers to create the class Facebook group. Don’t get me wrong she can be a good role model for go-getter students. The only problem with sitting beside teacher’s pets is professors love them too much. So if you don’t appreciate being compared to another student, it’s best to sit a few seats down.

4. THE MINIMALIST

The Minimalist is easy to spot. Look for the person who doesn’t have anything on his desk, not even a pen. Word of warning: stay away from this person. Not only will he diminish your supply of yellow pad paper, he will also make all the pens in your pencil case magically disappear.

5. THE LAZY NOTE-TAKER

There will always be one person in class who relies too much on his photographic memory. More often than not, said photographic memory will malfunction a couple of days before a quiz. If you don’t want to get your note-taking skills for granted, don’t sit beside the lazy note-taker. Chances are he will photocopy all your notes after every class. There’s also the possibility that you will never see your notebook ever again.

6. THE TALKER

There is a fine line between seatmates who are just plain friendly and those who talk non-stop. While they will keep your sanity intact amidst the stressful schoolwork, talking day after day about how she kept up with the Kardashians might not be a good idea if you want to keep up with calculus equations. Your professor might not appreciate the unwanted noise, so steer clear from this person if you want to stay out of trouble.

7. THE CLASS CRUSH

There is something exciting about fighting over the coveted seat beside the class crush. While winning the class iron throne can be appealing at first, his/her amazing looks might get distracting as the school year goes. It’s best to sit a few seats back and stare from afar for your dose of inspiration.

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