Four things not to bring back from the ’90s
We take a ride in our DeLorean and return to the ’90s as we check out the four things we should never bring back.
Onemig Bondoc’s Haircut
Whatever progress humanity achieved with the “Rachel†haircut, Onemig Bondoc’s parted bangs destroyed in an instant. It had no reason, no logic, and made Donald Trump’s current hairpiece a vision of art. Once it was paired with an oversized plaid patterned polo, it became the perfect mix of regret and horror that should’ve only been reserved for convicted pedophiles.
‘The Magic Hour’ with Magic Johnson
As if the famed basketball icon hadn’t suffered enough being diagnosed with HIV, in 1998 Magic Johnson had to star in his very own talk show, The Magic Hour. The short-lived talk show lasted for less than half a year (four months to be exacted) and it was so bad that even the harshest critics (i.e. Howard Stern) were asked to be guests of The Magic Hour just to increase what little ratings they had. The worst part is, it didn’t need an awful and outdated comedian with an oversized chin and chipmunk voice to end it. Today, The Magic Hour is up there in the rafters of Lakers lore alongside Kobe Bryant’s rape charges.
Tattoo Chokers
The perfect accessory for the person who so desperately wanted to be cool but was too scared to go anywhere outside Ayala Center, tattoo chokers gave the added edginess to any impressionable urbanite (albeit the edges were only as sharp as AJ McLean’s goatee). If you listened to only one song from Korn or if watching The Craft actually changed your life, then you really deserved a choker—and hey, the tighter the better. Wearing tattoo chokers was one step closer to becoming Fairuza Balk and two steps away from developing into an actual person.
Batman and Robin
Joel Schumacher gave us the worst superhero movie of all time (yes, we are including Catwoman on that list) and also managed to do the impossible: Out-Baz Luhrmann, Baz Luhrmann. From adding nipples to a Kevlar-coated costume to thinking anyone would comprehend Arnold Schwarzenegger, Schumacher gave us a Batman as terrifying as Malibu Barbie and as intriguing as dry paint on a wall. We’d gladly take Alyas Batman en Robin any day.
