MANILA, Philippines - The famed fictional newsman, Will McAvoy, once said, “Nothing is more important to a democracy than a well-informed electorate.†We couldn’t agree more. And so with the elections just a couple of days away, we dug deep inside to find our inner Alex Trebek and present to you a list of carefully selected questions to see if you’re ready to vote. These questions will test even the smartest of voters and will not be as easy as running for the Senate because your father happens to be the Vice President. Fun for ages 9 to 99!
Which of the following qualifications do you look for most in a senatorial candidate?
Political track record
Educational background
Sex appeal
Where do you get your election news?
TV
Internet
Iglesia ni Cristo
Which person running for a government position made the best attempt at violently overthrowing said government?
Gringo Honasan
Antonio Trillanes IV
What phrase comes to mind when you hear the words “Jack Enrile�
Juan Ponce Enrile
His stellar congressional record
Alfie Anido
Which of the following did Mitos Magsaysay not say?
“Hindi mo pwedeng paghiwalayin ang simbahan at ang pamahalaan sapagkat ako po ay ipinanganak na Katoliko.â€
“Heaven must be crying… We have to undo what has been done…â€
“My biggest achievement is attending sessions, only have three absences.â€
“My responsibility is to God first then the Church, then the people.â€
Who’s older?
Jun Magsaysay
Ernesto Maceda
Father Time
Pick your favorite version of Dick Gordon.
Dick “WOW Philippines†Gordon
Dick “Red Cross†Gordon
Dick “Rock Ed Radio†Gordon (Look it up)
What was Cynthia Villar before becoming a senatorial candidate?
Congresswoman
Governor
Wil Time Big Time co-host
Which nickname is your favorite?
Bambam
Koko
Tingting
Can you tell us who Ed Hagedorn is?
Yes, he’s running for mayor of Manila.
Who dat iz?
What do you call that thing on Risa Hontiveros’ shoulder?
The Shawl of Women’s Rights
Corruption Whip
Alampay
Ed Hagedorn
Did you know Jamby Madrigal was running?
No.
Yes, because I am Jamby Madrigal.
Who among the following is actually running for Senator?
Jac Jacinto
Mon Montano
Dan Dancel
Benben Benedicto
Isn’t Chiz Escudero the luckiest man in the world for being with Heart Evangelista?
Yes.
YES!
*cries*
Among the four, which two fought with Senator Juan Ponce Enrile?
Loren Legarda
Alan Cayetano
Sonny Trillanes
The Rebel Alliance
Why are you so against Grace Poe?
Because she’s just using her father’s name.
Because I don’t know anything about her and that annoys me.
Because people told me to hate her and I’m gullible.
Which celebrity is not endorsing a candidate?
Dingdong Dantes
Coco Martin
Daniel Padilla
Sir Chief
What does UNA stand for?
United Nationalist Alliance
Binay 2016
Are you a registered voter? Be honest.
Yes.
It’s kind of a long story…
No, but I post political memes and rants online. Does that count?
Do you think the makers of this quiz are biased to a particular political coalition?
Nope. I trust their fair judgment.
Yes, and I especially hate the younger brother.
Answer key
1. C (If you’re Miriam Santiago)
2. C (If you’re 90% of the population)
3. A (But only because Trillanes just lounged in a hotel)
4. C Alfie Anido (But be careful of being sued)
5. D (Actually they should all be wrong)
6. C (But a case could be made for Ernesto Maceda)
7. C (Only if you looked it up)
8. A (Also WTH is Ms. Hanep Buhay?)
9. B (But we’re all winners here)
10. B (Really)
11. C (We would also accept Ed Hagedorn)
12. B (Hi Jamby!)
13. B (Best. Name. Ever.)
14. A (Sobrang chiz-y)
15. B and C (Also known as Jar Jar Binks)
16. C (She’s really nice, you guys…)
17. C (Because he has a concert to prepare for)
18. A (But really, it’s B)
19. A (YOU BETTER VOTE!)
20. B (Please send all hate mail to jiggyandjonty@gmail.com)