Ball of fame: Seven basketball tweets that win

Basketball tweets rule, bruh.

Whether you’re reading them from analysts, athletes, or your buddies themselves, these tweets provide a short recess, away from the drama of people who always tweet like they’re literally on fire, or from frustratingly vague tweets that don’t even mean anything in secret.

In less than 140 characters, these sports tweets may range from the analytical to the comical, or both. They’ll seem crazy geeky at first, but the comedy can be universal as well. Then again, it’ll help if you know the sport first. Then again, whatever.

Here are seven accounts you ought to follow based on their tweets.

RT @philjackson11: @jeaniebuss: What’s up, girl?

Retired, 11-time NBA champion coach Phil Jackson flirts with his girlfriend and Laker owner Jeanie Buss over Twitter. He may be 67, but I now liken his Twitter game to that of a smooth 23-year-old.

Aside from that, basketball analysis is always on point. “I hate it when coaches get on the floor—the floor is just for the players and refs,” he live-tweets during an NCAA game. He just makes so much sense. Coaches love to trespass for drama’s sake and that shit only gets their team a technical foul.

He also once tweeted, “Mo is a bitch.” Thanks to P-Jax, I now know that momentum has a nickname.

RT @Matstadon: Lebron was looking like a black Mugatu.

I love the Zoolander throwback from this random dude. Sometimes, analysts don’t need to have 17,000 followers for you to follow them. Not to be hip or anything. It’s just that sometimes, the less people you know are watching, the more refreshingly candid you tend to tweet—enough to paint a picture of Lebron James evolving into a black Mugatu. Amazing.

RT @JordanPeele: What if Dennis Rodman unzipped his skin and four North Korean soldiers came out?

Comedy Central’s Jordan Peele is a comedian by profession, but when he does sports, it’s like releasing a different beast. If retired rebound king Dennis Rodman deserves to die at some point, it should only be through this glorious method.

RT @RKHorry: I know very powerful winds sometimes blow things in and out your yard but how do I end up with a bobcat in my backyard?

Robert Horry’s official account is filled with life’s mysteries such as this. I hope this ex-Spurs player has resolved his bobcat issues.

RT @flea333: The Clippers have two of my least favorite Lakers ever, Barnes and Butler, and one of my all-time favorite Lakers the beautiful Lamar Odom.

Flea tweets as emotionally as he kills the bass guitar with the Red Hot Chili Peppers. To me, though, he’s more than just a lose-hard Lakers fan; he’s a fan of sports. Plus, he called candy man Lamar “beautiful.”

RT @marcel_mutoni: LeBron’s crotch dunked on Beno Udrih.

Not to pick on Lebron so much, but sportswriter Marcel Mutoni just did neither of these players a solid by creatively saying “LeBron jumps pretty high.”

RT @netw3rk: Woodson looks like he just saw an eagle steal a baby.

As coach of the Knicks, Mike Woodson looks shocked by default. Offensive fouls warrant disbelief. Turnovers warrant disbelief.

I also like the tweet “Knicks are up 21 and Mike Woodson is making faces like the restaurant f*ck*d up his food.”

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Follow the author @ralphmendo.