You can buy an iPhone 5, but you shouldn’t. You don’t need it. The older iPhones are still pretty good and you can get some of the features of the new iPhone by installing iOS 6 for free.
You can download the new Mumford & Sons illegally but you shouldn’t. It’s pretty good. Plus, Babel just debuted on top of the US charts. Let’s support one of the best bands around by actually buying the album.
You can run for office after an ultra-successful, soon-to-be legendary boxing career and win, but you shouldn’t. Know when to abscond from the spotlight.
You can watch the new American Idol for Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey’s impending deathwatch but you shouldn’t. Don’t waste your time. Aside from the disgustingly calculated grab for attention, Idol’s long jumped the shark. If you need to get your talent show fix, there’s the infinitely more enjoyable The Voice.
You can run for office with your boxing legend of a husband and win, but you shouldn’t.
You can run under four political parties but you shouldn’t. That’s just silly, come on.
You can get a nose job but you shouldn’t.
You can go through life talking behind people’s back but you shouldn’t. Grow up.
You can settle but you shouldn’t.
You can dismiss Solange Knowles’ new single Losing You but you really shouldn’t. She’s suffered through the “Beyonce’s sister” tag enough. Losing You is a smooth fusion of 1980s Ric Ocasek-flavored new wave and that mid-90s R&B girl group sound.
You can hawk your new artista girlfriend for your pre-season campaign but you shouldn’t. You’re better than that.
You can take on the traits of whoever you think is cool but you shouldn’t. That won’t make anyone like you more. Go with yourself.
You can pretend The Master is Paul Thomas Anderson’s masterwork but you shouldn’t. Come on, after the force, focus, and fury of There Will Be Blood? The rapturous first half is something special but that intentionally-vague ending just makes me think he ran out of things to say.
You can hype Joaquin Phoenix as an Oscar contender but you shouldn’t. While I’m as happy as any film fan that he’s acting again, his performance in The Master was really more a series of tics than a proper performance.
You can retweet and reblog any tweet opposing the Cybercrime law but you shouldn’t. Read up before you retweet.
You can make revisions to a law because you’re sore from online criticism but you shouldn’t.
You can make generalizations about something you don’t use but you shouldn’t.
You can draft a law about a technology you don’t understand but you shouldn’t.