A guide to surviving soirées

MANILA, Philippines - Entering a soirée is much like witnessing the parting of the Red Sea; the girls giggle amongst themselves on one side of the room while the boys huddle together on the opposite end. They are all gathered in one place in the name of “meeting new people” and “making new friends” but the question remains: Who will make the first move? 

Let me be frank: I never went to soirées. (Blame my tendency to choose burrowing into my bed over socializing with boys my age.) Still, I’ve heard many painfully embarrassing stories about soirées gone wrong. The irony is that although these events are supposed to teach teenagers how to act less awkwardly around the opposite sex, they are in themselves awkward events.

Soirées or no, I feel like I made the most out of my time in high school and I certainly wouldn’t want anyone else to have too many regrets. Based on the few tidbits of advice I’ve heard over the years as well as my own college experiences, I humbly present to you my surefire guide to enjoying soirées.

Dress comfortably.

I understand you want to make a good first impression but keep in mind the activities planned for the soirée. Gentlemen, physical activity (not to mention nerves) might cause you to perspire more than usual so no matter how much you love that Batman shirt, don’t wear it if you’ll easily sweat through it. Ladies, a pair of heels and a micro mini might seem cute at the start of the soirée but limping around and constantly tugging your skirt down isn’t the best way to enjoy yourself. Let’s avoid wardrobe malfunctions, shall we?

You won’t be riding off into the sunset anytime soon.

Ever hear that story about a girl and a boy who met at a soirée, fell madly in love with each other, got married then lived happily ever after? Neither have I. You might expect or feel like you’re expected to meet your future boyfriend or girlfriend here and while it is possible, it’s perfectly normal if it doesn’t happen. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to meet and make a good impression on the one, you have your whole life to figure that out, so relax.

Choose fun games then participate the hell out of them.

Breaking the ice is the big first step towards turning strangers into friends; the games you play can make or break the soirée. Pick activities where people can introduce themselves and where people will laugh — nothing puts people at ease faster than laughter. Avoid drinking games (just ask Katy Perry how last Friday night went) and leave icebreakers that involve uncomfortable physical contact for later. It’s normal for you to be shy at first but for your own sake, come out of your shell and join the rest of the party. And if no one else seems to be taking the initiative to be energetic, who says it can’t be you?

It isn’t as difficult to find common ground as you think.

A famous relationship book asserts that men and women are from completely different planets — I beg to differ. Whether it’s a shared obsession for Game of Thrones or a mutual hatred for Justin Bieber, it really isn’t that difficult to find something in common. (I don’t mean the weather.) Acknowledge the awkward silences then move past them by talking candidly about yourself and listening to what the other person has to say. A modified form of speed dating usually helps in getting everyone to share about themselves other, as does conversing in groups. (Just don’t imitate The Plastics.)

Be open to the experience.

Think you’re as socially inept as Dr. Sheldon Cooper? Forget Gossip Girl, no one is immune to those “I can’t believe I said that!” moments so what do you have to lose by being yourself? Just as you wouldn’t want to be misjudged, don’t make hasty assumptions about people without getting to know them first. You might already be friends with some of the people at the soirée but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reach out and make new friends too. All of these tips will be useless if you don’t open yourself up to the experience; try it, you might just be pleasantly surprised.