What you can 'kind of do' might kill you

You can tell a lot of things from a person’s Twitter “About Me” — level of self-delusion most especially. Some people put a quote (“‘Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.’ — Joss Whedon,” for example). Some use a song (Pretty Little Hate Machine). Still, a lot use it to declare their simplicity (“~~simple girl with big dreams~~”). In a year and a half of tweeting and retweeting, I’ve come up with a pretty effective rule of thumb for navigating “About Me” write-ups: The more to prove, the more elaborate an “About Me”; the more secure, the less elaborate.

Oprah’s, for example, only says “Live Your Best Life,” while Kim Kardashian, big-bootied socialite catapulted to tabloid fame through a sex tape, says she’s a “business woman, exec producer, fashion designer, perfumista.” Apparently, she thought “About Me” was “Choose Your Own Adventure” in 160 characters.

Body of work: Aside from being the face and body that launched a dozen covers, Solenn Heusaff is also, according to her Twitter, “Actress?/Makeup Artist/Fashion Designer/Painter”—perhaps the hottest Renaissance woman in recorded history.Photo from Rogue

Kim is one of those “slashers,” a species of usually young people who claim to be adept at multiple disciplines, a roided-up version of the jack-of-all-trades. This species usually comes with a propensity for self-advertising and particularly obnoxious “About Me” write-ups, little résumés in 160 characters.

Essentially, there’s nothing wrong with slashers. Having multiple competencies is always a great thing. Someone like Oprah, for example, is a businesswoman, a host, a producer, an actress, a network executive, and a pseudo life coach to millions around the world. After putting in the time and the work, she excels at all of them.

The problem with the slasher movement — nay, epidemic — is it completely obliterates the whole process of dues-paying. It’s one thing to be a 40-plus-year-old woman with immeasurable cultural impact and a multibillion-dollar business and say you’re adept at multiple disciplines. It’s another to be 19, barely in college, and say you’re a “writer/blogger/model/stylist/creative director.” It just shows how limp a grasp you have on any of those vocations.

And I guess it’s only right that a pretty common sight is for one of a slashers’ slashes to be “blogger.” Because really, at the end of the day, this is all just part of the big bad Internet machine. For a generation brought up on social networking sites that allow us to customize our profiles, and by extension, play “Choose Your Own Adventure” with our Internet personas, it’s all fair game.

This is the same line of thinking, after all, that allows any chick with a Multiply store to grow the proverbial balls to tag herself a “designer.” A clarification: modeling for your friend’s Multiply brand doesn’t necessarily make you a model. The same way that me running around Ultra doesn’t make me an athlete. If you’re going to call yourself a slasher, make sure those slashes are earned and you’re not writing your own press release.

A recent conversation I had with a young photographer drove it home for me. At 23, we both agreed we could barely call ourselves “writer” (in my case) or “photographer” (in her case). At 23, we agreed we only have about a foot each in the door. How do you even begin to claim you have your feet in multiple doors at 19?

Polymath rhapsody: Freddie Mercury might’ve gotten all the attention. But with degrees in math and physics, a Ph.D under his belt, time as chancellor for Liverpool John Moores University—not to mention legendary guitar skills—Brian May lays claim to being one of our time’s genuine Renaissance men.

She continued on this thread, talking about how she used to think she would be more in demand if she could do it all — a photographer/filmmaker/writer/etc. Later, she realized that’s not what anyone’s looking for. “People are looking for people who are great at what they do. No one wants to hire someone who’s merely mediocre at something. I mean, who cares if you have 10 other things you’re mediocre at? You’re still mediocre.” This is why she says she strives to be good at what she does.

The earning of those slashes is perhaps a point of contention. Who says you’ve earned something? The way I see it, it’s somewhere between getting training and getting hired to do it. As with any discipline, some education is essential. A stylist once complained to me about how anyone with a pull-out slip can call herself a stylist now. An understanding of aesthetics? Of fashion history? Of the symbolic heft a piece of garment might have? It seems no one bothers with those anymore.

The problem these slashers inadvertently face is a dilution of expertise. When you’re not really that good at anything, if your main claim to fame is having several things you can “kind of” do, at the end of the day, you gotta ask yourself: does anyone really care?