Valentine's Day doesn't have to be SAD

Christmas in February. That’s what I used to think Valentine’s Day was. With decorations adorning every available surface, cards being sent, and flowers and gifts exchanging hands, all that is needed for Valentine’s to be the second most wonderful time of the year is the cancellation of work and classes (for a time, I did believe that I didn’t have to go to school on Feb. 14).

When I grew older, I learned that Valentine’s is less of a celebration of the birth of the savior and more of a party that could lead to someone giving birth nine months down the line. If the queues of cars and taxicabs near the motels in Pasig, Pasay, and Sta. Mesa are any indication, a lot of people seem to see the day of love as the perfect opportunity to do the horizontal tango.

For a day meant to commemorate a brave priest who cherished the union of a man and a woman in matrimony, modern-day Valentine’s Day events sure do cater to a much more liberal and blatantly unmarried crowd. Saint Valentine — who risked (and in some versions of the story, sacrificed) his life in performing secret marriages at a time when practicing Catholicism was dangerous — must be rolling over in his grave.

Another facet to the Valentine’s Day celebrations is the tradition of giving flowers to loved ones. In contemporary times, chocolates, jewelry and stuffed animals have also been added to the list of must-give Valentine’s presents.

It is no wonder the day of hearts is so popular! When you’re in a relationship, you stand to gain some good stuff on Feb. 14 — girls get the goods, and guys get the girls. It may not sound so PC when ladies are relegated to the role of a moocher, but it cannot be denied that many guys all over the world spend a fortune to make their sweetheart’s heart redder than on any other day. And while guys may seem like wild dogs in heat on this day, to many of them, maybe this is that one day when they might just get lucky. Perhaps, out of love, or out of pity, the ladies do relent on this day and give in to their man’s special request.

A whole slew of related industries also shine on this day to give any faltering economy an adrenaline shot straight to the heart. The prices of flowers soar in the weeks and days leading to Valentine’s Day — from the growers to the distributors at Dangwa and ultimately to the individual flower shops. Although e-cards are quite popular, nothing can still beat a card that conveys the giver’s sentiments — be it a ready-made card from any bookstore or handmade by a frugal (a.k.a. cheapskate) suitor — and designed to create that “Hallmark moment.” Motel operators, naturally, experience a peak in occupancy on this day, but restaurant owners also cash in on the action. It’s a win-win situation for everybody.

However, much appreciated as V-Day is by couples and merchants, there are also plenty of folks who despise this yearly convention.

Heading that list of Valentine’s Day haters are the single ladies who are pining for consorts. For these ladies, the 14th of February is known as Single Awareness Day (even its acronym spells SAD), a day that brings out bitterness and an even greater desire to find a boyfriend for girls raring to be in a relationship.

Another group of people see this day of love as an unnecessary, hyped-up annual event that exploits consumers and turns love into a commodity. Does it matter that all of the people I asked who described Valentine’s Day this way were guys? Gift prices have skyrocketed over the last few years, and guys have had to bear the brunt of the pocket-emptying ritual of giving trinkets and sweets on V-Day (except in Japan where, I heard, it is the women who give Valentine’s Day presents to their men).

Thought they may complain, most guys will still try to come up with something nice for their girls when the day of hearts come knocking. Many teenage boys take advantage of this socially accepted custom and use heart-shaped boxes of Ferrero chocolates and giant teddy bears to coax a “yes” out of the ladies they are courting. Older men use the gifts to wheedle a girl out of her pants, or to alleviate a lifetime partner’s bad mood.

But what is really sad is just how much time and money are spent on “love.” These days, love is quantified by the size of the roses on bouquets, the number of chocolates in a box, the price tag on a human-sized stuffed animal. Doesn’t it seem like a selfish kind of affection when Valentine’s Day revolves around sex, flowers and other material things?

Why can’t it be love for others or for the environment? It’s becoming more fashionable these days for newlyweds to request their guests to forego giving a lavish (or sometimes crappy) wedding present and instead donate to the couple’s chosen charity. Why can’t that practice be true for Valentine’s Day, too?

V-Day is about love, and not just love for your significant other. We spend most of the year pouring affection on our family and friends. Maybe it is only right to direct that care and compassion toward others on the one day of the year purposely dedicated to love. It is not only more decent, but it will also give Valentine’s Day that Christmas Day in February that every child probably feels or believes.

At the end of the day, giving love to others may not be as fun or as memorable as an afternoon delight, or as visually delightful as a bouquet of roses, or as scrumptious as Belgian chocolate, but it may turn out to be much more fulfilling and rewarding.