How to celebrate Christmas

There seems to be a self-help or do-it-yourself book or instruction guide on the Internet for everything nowadays. From tarot cards and playing cards to chess and cheese making, there is a how-to book to transform even the simplest of simpletons into an expert.

I understand the need for these manuals for vocations like plumbing and carpentry, and even for hobbies like sewing and computer gaming. But do we really need a self-help book for Christmas?

It is surprising how many online guides exist on how to celebrate the most wonderful time of the year. “How Christmas Works” and “How to Celebrate Christmas” web pages are among the first links to be shown on web search engines when you type in the word “Christmas.”

There are also sublevels of holiday how-to’s. Some are specific — how to decorate the tree, how to make a holiday feast. These are understandable; after all, not everyone can be Martha Stewart.

But actually learning how to celebrate? How can we create an analysis of movement or step-by-step instructions to “make” Christmas? Step 1 is to decorate, Step 2 is Christmas shopping, Step 3 is to send greeting cards, and so on?

We’ve made this holiday and holy day into a science, panicking when a step is missed or delayed and shunning anyone and anything that isn’t “Christmas-y.” The holiday does not seem complete without all the trimmings of the season.

What we’ve done is to box in the whole concept of Christmas. Everyone celebrates differently, and those who don’t stick with the status quo are looked down on.

Remember Skipping Christmas, that movie based on the book by John Grisham about a couple who refused to take part in the holiday traditions of their neighborhood? They faced so many difficulties because they didn’t want to deal with the hassles of Christmas. No one in their town believed that they would actually skip out on the biggest holiday of the year.

While no one I know has gone so far as to skip the season’s festivities, there are some age-old practices which some refuse to do. One of the most touchy subjects is gift-giving.

It’s not enough to give gifts to family — friends, acquaintances, and even co-workers you’ve barely spoken to deserve presents, too. Those who don’t make like Santa are considered Scrooges, and those who didn’t get anything get upset.

Self-help books list down just who deserves to be blessed by old Saint Nick and just how much should be spent on specific people.

There is also pressure to wrap gifts nicely before sending them off to friends. Have you ever heard someone mumble something along the lines of “Hindi man lang binalot” or “Hindi man lang pinansin yung balot”? Come on. Cheesy as it sounds, it is actually the thought that counts.

Those who don’t attend simbang gabi are quizzed on their skipping out on the Filipino tradition. Some are even forced to tag along with friends’ families because friends feel it is their duty to help their peers complete the Christmas to-do list.

By late November, residents of houses that have yet to be bedecked in faux pine needle wreaths and colored lights are questioned by neighbors who have had their lights up the day August turned into September.

And to think that in other countries like Japan and the United States, the Christmas decorations don’t even go up until a few days before the 25th. And they come back down only a few days after, too. Ours stay up until after Epiphany, or the feast of the three kings.

 Not having a noche buena or Christmas feast is a no-no, too. Even worse is not spending the holidays with family.

Sometimes, just mention that you won’t be dining with anybody or doing anything special on the night before Christmas and you’ll instantly receive invitations from all peers who live even remotely near your house.

Celebrating Christmas alone means no one loves you, said a character on a television show. Being lonely (or at the very least, physically alone) on the 24th or the 25th is almost impossible here in the Philippines.

As naturally hospitable people, Filipinos will open their hearts and doors to friends who are unfortunate enough to not have a holiday party of their own. It’s very kind, really. But, there are some introverted folks who don’t fancy large gatherings or the commercial nature of Christmas; they prefer to sleep in, maybe spend the season volunteering and helping the less fortunate.

Everybody celebrates the holidays differently. There really is no right or wrong way to spend the cold December days and nights.

Some people are Santas with gifts but Scrooge-like with their time, and some are the exact opposite. There are party animals and faithful churchgoers — all celebrate Christmas their own way.

There is no how-to that can define just what is the perfect Christmas. It is high time to stop concentrating on norms and traditions, and focus instead on the message of the holidays: a celebration of hope for a better future, a time to count blessings, and an opportunity to show and give love to friends and strangers alike.