The clothes make the man

So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don’t get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed, and put on some baggy pants, and take their greasy hair — eww — and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so. — Cher Horowitz, Clueless (1995)

Guys, we know you can do it. We girls go through so much to look presentable and pretty, whether we do it ourselves or ask for help — we cleanse, tone, moisturize, apply sunscreen, benzoyl peroxide and anti-aging eye cream. We scrub, pluck, wax, exfoliate, buff, deodorize. We shampoo, condition, soak in hot oil, cut, style, blow-dry, highlight, rebond, relax and perm. We contour, conceal, color, blend, experiment and perfect our makeup looks. We select outfits, mix and match accessories, coordinate our bags, even learn how to teeter on high heels.

The least you guys can do is dress well.

Before you complain or protest, let me assure you that yes, we have noticed that you’ve begun to pay more attention to yourselves. It may have taken the metrosexual phenomenon and a whole lot of marketing campaigns, but you’re preening yourself better than you ever did. Your basic razors and shaving cream now find themselves in the company of especially-for-men shampoo, oil-control and pimple-fighting products and hair gel/cream/wax in the bathroom. Indeed, your grooming has been upgraded — but what about your dressing?

A survey by Lastminute.com reveals that, on the average, women spend almost 90 minutes to get ready to go out — from showering to getting to the front door, that’s 30 minutes applying makeup, 24 minutes fixing their hair and 26 minutes getting dressed. Men, on the other hand, only take about 32 minutes to get ready. Half of the men surveyed felt that taking extra time in getting ready made no difference.

Big mistake, guys. Take it from us girls. We know that ultimately, we’re your target market, and we see everything. We peruse our fellow ladies down to the tiniest detail, from the flyaway strands of their hair to the unpeeled price stickers left on the bottoms of their shoes. You really think we won’t notice how you look? We notice when you style your hair differently, when you pull on spiffier-looking tops, when your clothes flatter your body type or skin tone. We notice, all right — and believe me, we appreciate it! Your porma does wonders for your pogi points.

Over the Christmas break I watched a marathon of Mad Men, the Emmy and Golden Globe-winning TV series about advertising executives in the 1960s. I was enthralled by how sharp all the men looked — crisp, clean suits that fit them perfectly, tasteful ties, neatly slicked-back hair, carefully groomed mugs. While not all of them were particularly good-looking (I have to admit, though, Jon Hamm and John Slattery are hot), they all radiated confidence, professionalism, and power. A local example — John Lloyd Cruz gained masses of new fans after they saw him so polished and undeniably good-looking in his last movie A Very Special Love. Seriously, you don’t have to look like Brad Pitt to make us pay attention.

Sadly, a lot of guys still don’t realize the full power and potential of a great outfit and are serial under-dressers to boot. I only have to walk around the mall to see several examples of mismatched couples. While the girl looks well put together, the guy looks like he didn’t give a second’s thought to what to wear. When a guy isn’t dressed well, it only reveals that he’s neither self-aware nor in control of himself.

Take note, though — we’re not doing this to transform you into trophies to show off or fashionistas to critique outfits with. Call us predictable, but we girls just want to bring out the best in you. You may complain that we always want you to change, but we’re simply great perceivers of potential. We know that you can look as dashing as any Mad Man or Prince Charming if you know what to wear.

And maybe a small part of us wants you to realize that good looks don’t just happen. Yes, a small, timidly selfish part wants you to know that it takes time for someone to look their best. Maybe you won’t complain as much when we spend a long time getting dressed or having our hair done.

But mostly, it’s for your potential hottie self waiting to smolder in — Is it confidence? Effortless style? Impressive breeding? — the right clothes.

We’re not asking for a lot. We don’t need you buying elaborate new wardrobes or dressing haute couture. We don’t want a new you, it’s still you that we want, the sport-crazy, techie, food-loving, chick-flick-hating you. Just a better(-dressed) you.