On Wii-nning and Losing

Do you know how to operate a Nintendo Wii? It looks simple, but it’s really not (for me, anyway). I discovered this a few days ago, when I tried to turn on my brother’s Wii by myself for the first time.

Here’s what happened. For five minutes, I searched for the power outlet to which the console was connected. Another 10 minutes later and I was able to figure out how to load game discs into the machine. I kept pressing “Eject” over and over again, wrongly believing that it was like a DVD player with a sliding tray. I did not immediately recognize its similarity to a car CD player wherein you just insert the disc into a slot.

My next problem was learning where to connect the dance pad used for Dance Dance Revolution games. After 10 more minutes (groan!), I finally found the hidden slots for the attachments. That’s 25 minutes of my life wasted on just turning on a game console.

I don’t know why I’ve become so inept at videogames. This clueless moment is only one of many I’ve had ever since I started playing the Wii.

The worst of those moments was when I played the immensely popular Mario Kart, a racing game, with my brother. I kept pressing all the buttons to steer and make the car move when, apparently, all that I needed to do was move the Wiimote (that’s Wii remote for all of those people living in some faraway mountain like me) like a steering wheel. When my brother saw what I was doing, he laughed like I had just farted. Needless to say, I didn’t win any races in that game.

It’s funny how I am completely lousy with videogames now. I was so good before! Okay, maybe not so good, but at least I knew how to turn on the consoles!

The first videogames I played were the cassette-like ones that you plugged into the TV. I don’t even remember if there was a machine for it. I think they give them away now as promotional items for newer games. When we bought one of our first DVD players, it came with one of those games.

When I turned seven, I received my first handheld game — a bright pink Game Boy. The first-generation Game Boys (successors to Game and Watch) had those dull “green screens,” as I like to call them. The only games I had for it were Tetris, Battle City and, of course, Pokemon.

A few years later, my Game Boy was upgraded to a Game Boy Color. It looked almost exactly like my old one, only bulkier (having colored graphics must’ve required more gizmos or thingies inside the device). Now, I could actually see the color differences between Pokemon Blue, Pokemon Red, and best of all, Pokemon Yellow.

Another few years later (funny how a year or two makes a huge difference in computers and the like), I upgraded again, this time to Game Boy Advance. The games were improved as well! Added to my rainbow of Pokemon games were my treasures — Pokemon Gold and Silver, that is.  

I even ventured into my brother’s Playstation 1 and 2. My favorite games were Monster Rancher, Rugrats, American Idol (the game), and Dance Dance Revolution. I never used the dance pad because my legs were too short to accomplish the steps (that’s the excuse I’m using anyway).

Sadly, my love affair with videogames stopped just as I was entering high school. I don’t remember whether I stopped playing because I felt that videogames were for babies, or if I did because I was too busy with books, blush and boys.

Only now have I rediscovered the joy of holding a controller in your hands, trying not to drop it because your hands have gotten so sweaty over the excitement of trying to beat your high score (and your sibling’s). Did that make any sense? If you’re a person cursed with clammy hands, then you must know exactly what I feel! I heard Botox offers a short-term solution.

The Wii is a great game console. It’s the first wireless one I’ve ever seen. Finally! No more wires for the dog to gnaw and for me to trip on. No more wires means a lot more things can be done with games.

My brother has a new game — Wii Music. It’s fantastic! By copying the movements for playing musical instruments like the piano and guitar, you can produce the sounds those instruments make using just a controller. Now, I can finally say I’m able to play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star on the piano, albeit a virtual one.

There are also many Super Mario games available. The ones I have played are loads of fun, and easy, too. However, easy or not, I have yet to win any of the games because my brother won’t toss me a bone and let me eat it.

Attachments like the dance pad I mentioned add even more fun to the Wii. Every morning, whenever time permits, I play Dance Dance Revolution. I’m getting better at it now. I don’t get grades lower than a “C” or “B.”

The songs used in the game are contemporary — there’s Makes Me Wonder by Maroon 5 and Rihanna’s Umbrella. I’ve played those two songs so many times that whenever I hear the actual song playing on the radio, my feet seem to go into Dance Dance Revolution mode. Anyone who saw The Full Monty, where the guys are standing in a bank queue when, upon hearing Donna Summer’s Hot Stuff, they begin involuntarily rehearsing their dance steps, knows what I mean.

The most recent attachment to our Wii is Wii Fit, a game that helps make you, well, fit. It has yoga moves, strength training exercises, aerobics, and mini games that help improve balance, all of which are intended to make one get off the couch and start moving.

When I first started using it, I had a fitness test. According to the Wii, I have the physical fitness of a 31-year-old. I personally don’t believe that. Maybe 25, but not 31! It also gave me my body mass index and a lot of other facts about my body that basically led up to telling me I needed to lose weight.

After I got over being called a 31-year-old, following the exercise plan the game set for me turned out to be more fun than I imagined. Before I knew it, an hour had passed, and I had been called “unbalanced” and “couch potato” a hundred times. Despite the insults, I actually had fun; it was just like playing a videogame. I forgot entirely that I was exercising.

Playing videogames again feels great. With a controller in hand (or a Wii board at foot), I can forget about the report I haven’t made or the test I haven’t studied for. At least, for an hour, all that matters is moving on to the next level or meeting the goal set by my virtual (macho, as my brother puts it) trainer on Wii Fit.